Quodlibets

Attention span

I've seen a lot of chatter on the Internet lately about how the Internet is killing "my attention span and now I can't read books!"  Something about jumping from Facebook to an RSS reader to a newspaper's website to Twitter and now back to Facebook and the reader and now I'm being IM'd and now someone is texting me and back to Facebook...and so on and so forth...is killing our ability to read books.  

Except that this isn't happening to me.  Sure, if I'm not into a book it's easy to turn to the computer for some entertainment (What's in my feed right now?  Is anyone saying anything worth reading on Twitter or Facebook?), but when I'm into a book, I'm into a book.  If a book is gripping, and any kind of book can be gripping (for instance, I couldn't put The Lost Dogs by Jim Gorant down, and that was non-fiction; yet Where Good Ideas Come From by Steven Johnson was dry and pretty much lame), why would you want to put it down to check Facebook or Twitter?  Maybe I'm naive, but I can't imagine the pull of the Internet trumping the book.

Then again, sometimes I think people pick books that aren't gripping.  Maybe some people like struggling with their reading, and I think sometimes people feel like they "should" read a certain book (Freedom comes to mind--have already heard from two friends that they had to struggle through it).  So perhaps it's hard to resist the lure of the Internet when you're not engrossed in the book you're working through.  But then why are you reading it?  I guess that's my ultimate question: if you're not enjoying the book you're reading (and if you want to put a book down--if you're actively avoiding reading it by loafing on the Internet--then you're probably not loving it, eh?) then why are you reading it?

Yesterday, a blog I like very much had a thread about which books are so bad they never should have been published, and it just....I can't comment.  Because yes, I thought the Da Vinci Code was bad.  I didn't enjoy it.  I hated the last Twilight book so hard that I believe I screamed at it and threw it across the room.  But at the same time, the only book that Sam has managed to finish since we've been together is the Da Vinci Code.  That means something to me.  It seems to me that a lot of this is about taste.  I don't like Faulkner, but I love Hemingway, and something tells me there are many people who feel exactly the opposite.  I don't like Dan Brown, but I do like Nora Roberts (and romance novels in general) and I know PLENTY of people who will jump on me for liking romance.  But look, I like them.  I'm not saying you have to, but I enjoy them.  I ENJOY THEM.  Me, the person reading them.  And frankly, if romance books are the only books you read, that's a-okay by me (shout out to my grandma!).  You're reading.  Reading is important; I'm not so sure that what you read is important, if you're doing it as a leisure activity.  I hate judging people's choice in books.  I hate it.  Reading is important.  Whatever gets you to read is worth it.  I can't be moved on this issue.

So back to the distraction thing: I do truly believe that if people read what moved them, what entertained them, what made them happy--they wouldn't be moaning about the Internet and how it's ruined their ability to read.  But that's me, and I'm an avid, passionate reader.  Maybe there's a whole lot of people who are so neutral about it that no book can tear them away from their computer.  But then, I guess that's not the fault of the Internet, is it?

New Year, Resolved

No dieting.  No assigning of moral value to foods.  No self-flagellation for food choices made in the service of my body and mind.

And of course, to love myself.

I keep talking about these things, because I keep thinking about these things.  I am battered every day with commercials for weight-loss, with people talking about their New Year's Diets, with people beating themselves up for eating a donut or a piece of cinnamon bread or coffee cake.  My boss' daughter tried to enlist me in some sort of thing she's doing--by stopping her mother from drinking soda.  This woman tried to get me to yell at my boss if I saw my boss drinking a soda.  My boss is an adult; she must make her own choices, and those choices aren't invalid if they include drinking a soda.  I know this daughter wants her mother to stop drinking soda because her mother is fat.  I know it because her mother, who is my boss, told me.  I felt dirty even being asked; I told this daughter: Your mother is an adult.  She can make her own choices.  You cannot make your mother stop drinking soda by yelling at her.  If your mother wants a soda, she should drink a soda.

I do not think that this daughter understood.

I find that I want to stop everyone from what I believe is self-harm.  "Stop!" I want to yell at them.  "Eat what you want when you want.  Your body will figure it out, and your mind will follow.  Stop disciplining yourself over what you eat.  Stop!"

It's obviously a radical idea.

It hasn't gotten easy, so much as habit.  It's still hard, sometimes, to not yell at myself for that __________  I just ate because I should have eaten _________ instead.  Fill in the blanks; I am sure you have a sentence like this somewhere inside you.  But mostly, I find myself eating.  Simply eating.  No guilt.  No associations.  No thought of points or calories or if it was making me fatter.  It's nice to find that you have cravings for bean salad one day, and cookies and cream ice cream the next, followed fast by a craving for celery draped in peanut butter.  I believe my body is telling me things with my cravings, and if I allow myself the liberty of fulfilling them (to the best of my ability--what with cost and availability), they don't consume me.  I consume them.  And they leave me alone. 

It's very hard to explain the peace of living like this, when in the past, I'd been obsessed with food for nearly 24 hours a day.  Always thinking of foods I "couldn't" eat or what I was going to eat or how I was going to kill the empty ache in my stomach.  That doesn't so much happen anymore.

The war, for me, has moved to that last resolution, and it is, I truly believe, the hardest and most radical part of these resolutions: loving yourself.  I cannot lie; I believe I work harder on my relationship with myself than I do on my relationship with Sam.  Careful reading here:  I am not saying that I don't work on my relationship with Sam.  I'm only saying that there is a LOT of internal work going on around here too.  The thing is, it's so very easy to love Sam.  He's my favorite thing, and I love so damn much about him, it's not hard to maintain that. 

Loving myself, though, is just about the hardest thing I've ever really tried to do.  No more loving parts of myself but not all of me.  No more disgust when I look in mirrors, and still, plenty of looking in mirrors.  Jesus God, it is hard.  I am so fucking good at insulting myself, both out loud and in my head.  It is very hard to not think "You look ugly" when I see myself in the mirror.  I still forget to not insult my hair after I finish drying it.  I still look at my outfit and say "This is bad."  I'm working on it.  I'm really working on it.  It's going to be really hard to love myself if I keep insulting myself.

I'm not saying these things to get a reaction.  I believe there are lots of women who do the same thing, who say the same things to themselves (even if not out loud), and I believe a lot of them won't admit it, or don't even realize they're doing it, because it feels so normal.  I'd been doing this intuitive eating thing for a long time before I realized it was going to be really hard to keep it up if I didn't stop hating myself.  I didn't figure it out alone; I read a book called "When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies" and it really made sense to me.  Parts of it, anyway.  The parts that want me to stop hating my body.  I want that too, now.  I want to stop.  I don't think I really understood how goddamn hard it was going to be.  I guess I've been doing this whole hatred thing for what?  Sixteen years?  Something like that.  It's a really hard thing to stop doing.  It was hard to even realize I was doing it.  So it ain't happening overnight, is what I'm saying.  But that's my biggest resolution for the year.

It's time to stop hating myself and really.  I mean really.  LOVE myself.  Every bit, from my brown eyes to my squishy belly.  All of it.  I'm committed to it.

Favorite Books of 2010

I read a lot of new books.  While I occasionally dip into an author's back catalog, I'm mostly trolling the new book shelves at the local library, looking for the newest stuff.   (Of course, now that I've got the list, I'm reading more books from past years, because I remember that I want to read them.)

Anyway, here are my favorite books of 2010, fiction and non (in no particular order):

• The Irresistible Henry House by Lisa Grunwald.  This book was never actually on the list.  I picked it up on a whim, and I just thought it was quirky and a good, quick read.
• Countdown by Deborah Wiles.  And how!  What a great, great read.  Filled with awesome graphics, and really well-told.  It's a kid's book, but I can't imagine it wouldn't appeal to adults.
• Vintage Affair by Isabel Wolff.  Definitely my favorite "chick-lit" book of the year.  Just excellent.
• The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins.  Only Mockingjay came out this year, so I'm sort of fudging it.  But I read all three books this year, and I am so glad I did.  I love this sort of futuristic sci-fi, and even though it's technically children's lit, who cares?  It was that good.
• A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan.  I ADORED this book.  I loved that Egan was able to speak in many voices, and that all the chapters were a little bit like short stories but not.  The book tied together at the end in a way that made me want to cheer.
• The Lonely Polygamist by Brady Udall.  I'm a little surprised this book didn't get more attention.  I really enjoyed it, and it seems like the kind of book that does get press attention.  I didn't find it exploitative at all, and I don't think it was written in a sensationalist manner, at all.  A family story, but one with a big ol' quirk.
• The Cookbook Collector by Allegra Goodman.  Even though I can think of, off the top of my head, tons of problems with this book, I still left it feeling deeply, deeply satisfied.  And I couldn't wait to finish it, and find out how it turned out.  Lovely, somehow.
• The Widower's Tale by Julia Glass.  Same as above.  Lovely, somehow, even with all its flaws.
• Pegasus by Robin McKinley.  One of my new favorite sci-fi novels.  Or fantasy.  Whatever.  I cannot WAIT for the next book in this new series.
• Blackout by Connie Willis.  Technically, I'm not sure that this came out in 2010.  I read it in 2010, though, and the sequel (which I haven't read) came out in 2010.  I lurve Connie Willis, and I really like the type of alternate fiction but not that she writes.

 

• Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot.  This book is on everyone's list.  But with good reason.  Compulsively readable, and just...fascinating to the utmost.
• Freedom Summer by Bruce Watson.  This book deals with a really tough time in America's past, and it does it without seeming too light, but without bogging down, either.  I never felt like I was dragging myself through pages.  I just kept going.  Couldn't stop going.
• Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things by Gail Steketee and Randy Frost.  Endlessly fascinating.  It's totally a car crash, and you're totally gawking.
• You Never Give Me Your Money by Peter Doggett.  I think I've read every Beatles biography that is respectable in the least, and not a one of them ever really told me what REALLY happened with all the lawsuits and so on.  Every Beatles book has a chapter that says, "And then everyone sued everyone and Paul made a record and John made a record and Ringo drank and George did a concert for Bangladesh and the Beatles were over."  Doggett tells you the sordid details of the "everyone sued everyone" part, and I found it very illuminating reading for a die-hard Beatles fan.
• The Facebook Effect by David Kirkpatrick.  You know.  It was good.
• Poisoner's Handbook by Deborah Blum.  Chock full of little bits of knowledge that'll never do you much good, but are fun to know anyway.  So good that I went back and read another book by Blum.

I clearly read a LOT more books than this, but these are the ones that jumped out off my reading list at me.

A Macca Question

So why is Macca doing so much media right now?  The Apple Store announcement was weeks ago.  The Special Edition of Band on the Run came out weeks ago.

D'you think that he just gets worried that everyone is going to forget about him?  Or maybe he's feeling kind of down, and wants some positive attention, so he starts doing media?  Maybe he's just an attention junkie.  Maybe he likes being treated like a legend.

Look, I love the man.  I'm just saying, he's got an ego, that one.

Romano Family Band Weekly Concert Series

Just go with it, okay?

1. Got to Get You Into My Life -- The Beatles
2. Land of Canaan -- Indigo Girls
3. Window -- Guster
4. Ordinary Morning -- Sheryl Crow
5. My Antonia -- Emmylou Harris
6. Walnut Tree -- Keane
7. Roads (Live) -- Portishead
8. River -- Joni Mitchell
9. What It Feels Like for a Girl -- Madonna
10. Santa Monica -- Everclear

Now, that's a pretty mellow set.  The mellowest moment would of course be during River, when my dad, my sister and brother left the stage for a break while my mom (on the keys) and I kicked some ass.  Kicking ass and mellow are not mutually exclusive. 

Also, I have a very hard time imagining my Dad and Brother playing What It Feels Like for a Girl.

If the Romano Family Band ever went on tour, by the way, we'd play a fun car game called "Cell Phone or Just a Bad Driver?"  You should try it some time.  It's very hard.

The Romano Family Band (a Friday Random Ten)

Did anyone else make a family band in their head?  Whenever my brother first picked up drumsticks, and since my dad was a guitar player, I created a band.  With my family members.  In my head.

Obviously, my brother Jimmy is the drummer.  And even more obviously, my dad is the lead guitarist.  I always figured I would sing, because a) I like it and b) I can't do anything else.  My sister Kate would play bass, because we need a bassist, and I can't see her jamming on the keyboard.  Which of course, leaves my mom with the keyboard.  I think she and Jimmy would do backup vocals.  Et voila!  We are the Romano Family Band.  Perhaps you can imagine us doing these songs at our first show.

1. Intervention -- Arcade Fire
2. Page 43 -- CSN
3. Put it Behind You -- Keane
4. I'll Take Care of You -- Dixie Chicks
5. Fumbling Towards Ecstasy (Live) -- Sarah McLachlan
6. So Far Away -- Carole King
7. Sea of Time -- The Beatles
8. Soft Shoulder -- Ani DiFranco
9. Dr. Baker -- The Beta Band
10. You Shook Me All Night Long -- AC/DC

We have eclectic taste, ok?  Of course, the AC/DC song would be the last song before the encore.  Yep, we rock.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving, all!  Hope your meal is delicious and you're warm and comfortable, wherever you are.

My list:

• My family.  Best. Family. Ever.  I hope you feel the same way I do about yours.
• the chance to go to grad school; I feel really lucky to have the opportunity and means
• this city, so full of good food and good places
• Diet Coke, and especially the McDonald's large diet, which costs me $1.10 and fuels my mornings now.  Love it.
• our condo.  It's still not exactly hit me that if we don't want to, we never have to move again.  It's nice.
• Oh, Sam.  I'm thankful we got married, and I would have been thankful for you even if we didn't, because I just feel so lucky to be with you.  You're my best friend.  You're amazing and wonderful and I'm so thankful that you found me.

There's obviously tons more things I'm thankful for, but now that I've gone all sappy, I think I'll stop.

Unthanksgiving

Things I am NOT thankful for:

• Traffic
• The increase in our property taxes (BOO Cook County, BOO)
• Homework
• ProQuest (everything about that interface makes me want to just shoot it in the head, or wherever would hurt an interface the most)
• Itchy, dry winter skin--it's already terrible, unfortunately
• headaches of all sorts
• messing up recipes; I cannot tell you how horrible I feel after I mess one up, no matter what Sam says or whether we eat it or not.  I FUCKING hate messing up recipes.
• Gah, North Korea's continued bizarro belligerence
• BlackOps (the game)
• the fact that Sam won't let me have a kitty
• everything ever to do with politics and government; I am so burned out, whatever that means
• cleaning on my day off on Friday (and I mean CLEANING with all caps, man.  Like, scrubbing.)

Pulling the plug

So.  I tried.  I wanted to blog every day, and I did okay.  I wouldn't say great.

But as this past weekend illustrates, I'm not so great at this whole every day thing, so I'm going to say that I'm done.

I will keep blogging during November, when it strikes me to do so (and I hope to keep doing Friday Random Tens on and on and on).  I plan on Un-Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving, still. 

But I don't know what happens after that.  We'll see.

Annotated Friday Random Ten

1. Damaged, Plumb.  Pretty much unmemorable.  I do still listen to this soundtrack occasionally, however (Brokedown Palace).
2. This Woman's World, Maxwell (Unplugged).  My god, I can't tell you how much I love this song.  It's a Kate Bush song, I know, though I've never heard her version.  This version, however, just feels perfect to me.  I can't get enough of it.
3. Happy (Reprise), Jenny Lewis with the Cocteau Twins.  I've never listened to this.  I therefore can't comment.
4. One by One All Day, The Shins.  This is a band I think I'm supposed to like more, and I just don't.  I couldn't identify this song if you played it for me, and I feel like I should just take this album off my iPod.
5. Something's Changed, Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings.  This is an artist I want to like more than I do.  I think she's got an amazing voice, I love the style of the music, and if you gave me a choice, I'd turn this song (and album) off every single time.
6. Armistice, Phoenix.  What is this, the random ten of albums that don't live up to the hype?  I officially like ONE song on this album, Lizstomania, and turn every single other song off when it comes on.
7. Now My Heart is Full, Morrissey.  Oh yeah.  The Moz.
8. Dice, Finley Quaye and William Orbit.  Yes, this song is from an OC soundtrack.  Yes, I loooooove it.  It ALWAYS makes me see Ben McKenzie in a white tank and looking thuggish and uncomfortable, and frankly, he does thuggish and uncomfortable in a very hot way.  Hot with two t's kind of a way.
9. I Wish You Were Here, Incubus.  Sam is responsible for any Incubus song I listen to, and I really associate all of the songs that I listen to by them with the beginning of our relationship, something like 9 years ago, when he first began to make me mixes, and sprinkled in Incubus.  This isn't my favorite Incubus song--that honor belongs to Aqueous Transmission, which I know is as stupid as it sounds, and yet.....--but I like this song, nonetheless.
10. Knot Comes Loose, My Morning Jacket.  I really like this band's studio albums, as long as Sam picks and chooses the songs I listen to.  This is another band I wouldn't listen to without Sam in my life, because he loves them, and he's the reason I've seen them live three times?  Four?  Something like that.  I fervently hope that I never see them live again, because in person, they drive me to count architectural elements in the theater where we see them (why yes, there are 184 squares in the decorations around the stage).  Counting things is a thing I do when I'm bored or uncomfortable or just...need to hang on to some semblance of sanity.  They have to be things I can see, though.  I'm not counting sheep in my head, for instance.  But light fixtures?  Chairs?  Hats in the crowd?  Decorative elements on the ceiling?  All fair game.  I don't remember when I started doing it, but I do know that no other band drives me to it like My Morning Jacket does.  But their studio albums are pleasant and enjoyable.