Quodlibets

"Now we are engaged in a great civil war..."

Perhaps it's not exactly a war, and it definitely isn't civil, but I take great heart that 7 persons in the state of California understand that marriage equality has nothing at all to do with anything except that fact that not upholding it denies rights to citizens of this country.  This country was founded, and has existed for hundreds of years as the place where "all men are created equal", and if we haven't always practiced that, we've at least always come around to eventually remedying the situation so that EVERYONE is equal under the law. 

California took another step towards that idea today, upholding marriage as the RIGHT of every person in this country, as long as they seek to marry a consenting adult, no matter the gender of that person.

It's extremely heartening, and I hope with all mine that closed-minded voters in California don't amend their Constitution in November so that discrimination is protected by law.  I hope people can overcome their prejudice, disgust, discomfort, whatever it is that keeps them from being even-minded, and vote to allow their brothers and sisters equal rights.  I hope the gay citizens of this country are able to fly and drive and flock to California to take part in something that most heteros take for granted.  I hope that their weddings are beautiful and divine, and I hope those who have children can get married in front of their children, and make things legal for all involved.  I hope that we can rejoice with these people who have been together for many long years with the uncertainty of a non-binding partnership as they finally get married.  I hope we can feel the palpable joy that must be radiating out of that state today.  I hope this lasts.  I hope every state in the union follows.

I hope.  I hope.  I hope.

Poojie Day (and my birthday)

28 years ago, I was born on Father's Day.  I happen to think that I was the best Father's Day present ever, because dude!  I'm the gift that keeps on giving. 

Just kidding.  And actually, I'm probably the gift that takes the most work.  So...thanks dad, for putting up with me.  And have a happy father's day, golfing in the extreme heat.  I'm going to stay indoors.  Happy birthday to me, happy father's day to you.

Phew

Here. Safe. Must go dry hair now; boyfriend setting up chairs at ceremony site, and then the day really begins.

It's been.....busy.

In Which my Education Comes in Handy

My major in college was a pretty unique one, as far as I can tell.  Humanistic Studies--an invented discipline in which women placed literature within the context of cultural history.  A pretty fancy way of saying we read lots of "great" books from the canon, and studied about the things going on in history from the eras of the books.  Legendarily light on courses (2 required courses each semester Junior and Senior year, and I think...three required electives in two years plus those.), it gave you plenty of time to take other courses, which I gleefully did.  And I didn't even manage to rack up a minor, because I sort of just picked and chose, and of course, the year in Rome really did limit what you could do. 

Anyhow, I loved the major, and I'm glad I did it, though of course there is little practical application for it.  No one's quizzing you on Pascal and Voltaire and Decartes and Diderot and so on in a library.  I don't think I've ever even discussed any of those writers with anyone save the women in my classes back then.  Maybe it's a weird view of things, but it seems like the kids on this college campus aren't reading these authors, and it seems like maybe they should be--or maybe it's that if they are, they're not using the library.  Which come to think of it, makes a lot of sense, because I can probably count on one hand (two if I'm being generous) the number of times I used the libraries at SMC and ND.  Honestly, I don't remember ever looking in an academic database.  So maybe I don't see the kids who are reading Freud and Nietzsche and Goethe.  Either way, the point is, the education I got was definitely education for education's sake.  I really enjoyed every single thing I read (and I read every single thing I was assigned) even if I really didn't like the book.  I basically enjoyed the process of reading and learning, and if I liked the book, bully for me.

But the other day, I made an astounding connection that I simply never would have made were it not for my expensive, useless education.  I'm listening to Jane Smiley's Ten Days in the Hills right now, and I'm really enjoying it, but I have to tell you, it is full of sex.  Just chock-a-block.  I was telling S how sometimes I feel embarrassed to listen to it, even though I'm in my car, all alone.  I was telling him how weird it was, how the sex was so explicit sometimes, and how none of her other books were like that.  And I was explaining the book--ten characters, ten days, lots of stories--and suddenly it popped in my head.  This book is a modern Decameron.  I mean, it was like a shaft of light broke through the clouds over my head.  I knew that I was right before I had any confirmation of it, because it fit SO perfectly.  And frankly, it's making me enjoy the book even more, knowing the Decameronic background of the book.  It's also making me want to read the Decameron again, because that was a pretty enjoyable read.  I don't think I've ever re-read one of the academic books from my college days, so that would be interesting.

Either way, mom and dad (and grandparents) aren't you glad you helped subsidize an education that's finally showed some use?  Yep, I'm using my education to provide the background for a popular fiction title.  Totally worth the 100 grand or so it probably cost.

Bullet Thoughts

1.  S sold his car yesterday.  We've decided very firmly that we're staying in the city, at least for the forseeable future, and we just don't need two cars if that's the case.  We're talking about buying, which I think I mentioned, and we can't afford two garage spaces, and he doesn't drive anywhere anyway.  We couldn't store his car in my mom's garage indefinitely, and a buyer basically fell into our laps.  (The girlfriend of a friend of my little brother.)  He got an okay price, for the car, considering it has no driver-side mirror, and it's a basic Honda Civic that's seven years old.  It kept half its value, though, and there were so few miles on it, people think the odometer is wrong.  (It isn't.)  It's money he can really use, so it's good.  He told me he felt a little weird about it, last night, after the transaction was complete, and I can totally understand, because I can't imagine living without a car, even in the city.  But I mean, he has a car.  He has mine.  And if he needs it, he'll mostly (unless I'm at work) be able to use it.  It was a leap, and I'm really proud of him for taking it.  I can't imagine but that in the long run, it will be seen as a good move.  Now we are a one car household--and a one hybrid car household.  I couldn't have imagined a better scenario two years ago if I tried.

2.  My best friend from high school is getting married.  She just got engaged over the weekend.  And I'm happy for her, I really am.  But the feelings are more complicated than just happy.  She was my first, closest friend.  I probably have only had two other friends as close, if you don't count S.  And I'm not in touch with them anymore, so she is this weird little chunk of my past, and whatever is between us now, I did clearly love her very intensely once upon a time.  Regardless of the fact that I don't love her like that now, those sorts of feelings don't ever really go away.  Anything I ever felt for her is muted now, but still there.  So when I say I'm jealous of her now, I want you to understand that it's a very muted jealousy, a jealousy that owes more to the past than the present, and a jealousy borne out of the knowledge that the life she is living isn't for me anymore than my life is for her.  Still.  I can't help but feel that little frisson of passionate longing for the things she's having now.  But it's the high school me that's longing for those things; it's the high school me that's still in me; it's the high school me that I sort of become when I'm reminded of us. 

I was certainly jealous of her, painfully jealous, in high school.  It's taken me a long time to see our relationship like that, to see it as very unequal in terms of what the two of us had.  I can't say for sure, but I imagine there were some things about me that she was jealous of.  I don't know that she would call it painful jealousy, but mine was, so that's that.  Quite a few of my relationships with straight women have involved jealousy, and I think it would be mutual jealousy, and that's not to diminish the friendships, but it's just the dynamic I've most often found.  It's definitely due to my nature as a jealous, envious person.  Like is drawn to like?  Either way, I'm not jealous now, and haven't been for quite a long time.  Somehow, you're allowed to develop some slight bit of perspective when you leave high school, and that's definitely happened to me.  I don't want what she has, and I know it.

But this is new, right?  This whole one of us getting married thing.  I'm currently pretty ambivalent about marriage, but the high school me wasn't.  The high school me saw that as a major part of her life--a big dress, a man, kids maybe--and the fact that I don't now doesn't diminish that little spark of jealousy.  Jealousy that she's doing it first, and that no doubt she will choose an absolutely gorgeous dress and look stunning in it, and that the whole thing will be as perfect as she can get it to be.  This whole thing, of course, is utterly at odds with my own vision of any wedding I might choose to have now, but...I can't get away from it.  I'm 100% sure it will fade quickly, and I won't feel green for very long, but it's where I am right now.  And to say that I don't like feeling like this would be an understatement.  These are very uncomfortable feelings.

New Eyes

I got some new glasses.  This is the first time I've ever used medical benefits for eye care, and let me tell you, I don't know how I lived without it before.  I chose pretty cheap frames, comparatively, with expensive lenses (apparently, the higher your prescription, the harder it is for cheap lenses to look good), because I had a coupon for 50% off the lenses.  I figured the discount was so high I could do it.  But the eye insurance couldn't be combined with the discount, so I agreed to be charged for whatever was cheaper.  And the insurance was 50% off the whole thing.  So yeah, I went with that.  My glasses would have been ridiculously expensive without either discount, but this ended up far better than I could have expected.  I love the new glasses, too.

Also, I purchased my new contact lenses through the insurance, and it saved me about $120, which is INSANE.  I have this new type of contacts now, because my eyes just weren't getting enough oxygen in the old ones, and it was messing with my ability to see.  I thought I was getting more blind, but in fact, my eyes were just mad at me.  The new ones are pretty darn comfortable, though I'm not quite as comfortable in these as the old ones.  But they're apparently the newest tech available, and as such, great for your eyes.

And that's nice, except that now I want to wear my new glasses everywhere. 

No Reservations

If there is a person who is better suited to blogging than Anthony Bourdain, I'm not sure who that person is.  I hope that he spends lots and lots of time creating amusing rants over at Michael Ruhlman's blog. 

If you're a food person at all, you probably know who Bourdain is (and if not, try checking out his books, which are super-duper entertaining), but you might not know that Ruhlman is one of those important behind-the-scenes food writer people.  He's not a famous chef, but he writes about them.  He's probably best friends with half the famous well-known chefs in America.  He's also doing a very hot Q&A with Grant Achatz at Steppenwolf here in Chicago this coming Sunday.  (I haven't been to Alinea, but this is gonna be ther year.  I'm going for my birthday, one way or another.  And somehow, I'm going to get a picture of every dish I eat, and then I'm going to post a blow-by-blow account here.  Okay, I'm done with the affirmations now.)  I'm not going to that Q&A, because as I mentioned, I haven't been to Alinea, and well, I'd rather sit at home.  So sue me.

Anyway, check out Bourdain's entries if you like him.

You're the Pride and Joy of Illinois

Chicago Bears, Bear Down!

Being the pessimistic fan that I am, I don't rate the Bears much chance of winning.  I do think that the game can be won at so many points it's silly.  The secondary can win the game for the Bears.  The pass rush can win the game for the Bears.  The offense keeping possession for long amounts of time (thus keeping Peyton Manning on the sidelines) can win the game.  All of those things working together?  Definitely a win.  But personally, I think that's basically a call for perfection, and I just am not sure the Bears have it. 

I also thought they would lose both playoff games, though, so what do I know.  In fact, on paper, The Saints were, for my money, the more complete team.  Apparently, the Bears are hungry, though, because I thought that they simply outplayed what might have been a better team.  I'm not sure about Indy, though.  I think they come in pretty clearly at the same level as the Bears, minus the ferocious person that is one Peyton Manning.  He can sink us, I'm pretty well sure of it. 

S refuses to make a pick, saying that he doesn't know, and he refuses to jinx it.  Though he did just tell me that he thinks if the Bears play well, they'll win.  If they play badly, they'll lose.  And then he said, "You just don't know who is going to show up."  So in the EfroMano house, apparently the mood is cautious. 

Still.

GO BEARS!!!

Super Bowl Shuffle

Hi.  Remember me?  I'm back.  Sorry for that long absence.  Per the coffee question, our houseguests were here, and things were just crazy.  And then, you know, Bears fever sort of took over.  We were planning on watching the game holed up in our apartment, alone for the first time in three days when my dad called and invited us to a playoff party that included homemade Italian beef.  We ditched the apartment and watched a very fun game on a very fun large-screen TV.  Which brings us to today. 

Do you think the Bears will do another "Super Bowl Shuffle"?  No, probably not.  And even though I was six when they last went, I do remember that song.  Who in Chicago doesn't?  We probably watched that thing 100 times.  When you hear it now, it sounds cheesy and lame, and seems like the worst possible thing a team could do in the two weeks before the big game, minus any sort of activity that can provoke serious injury.  Anyway, the Bears are serious underdogs, I think.  Peter King (oh how I love Peter King and Monday Morning QB) has his list of "Fine 15" and the Bears are number 4 on it, behind Indy and the Pats and even shit, I think San Diego.  So I think that means that Peter King thinks we will lose the Super Bowl.  He thought we would lose our first two playoff games too, though, so maybe Peter King isn't the be-all and end-all of predicting wins.

Nonetheless, I am one of the most pessimistic sports fans ever, and I think the Bears will undoubtedly lose the Super Bowl, not because of any specific reason except that they are the Bears.  Doesn't matter who they're playing.  And to be honest, I'm not sure what I think of Indy.  I haven't watched them very much, and they looked good and bad last night.  In such a high-scoring game, it's hard to figure out why the team that won won.  At least, it's hard for me.  I just don't know if their defense is good enough to win, and it seems like maybe a dominating defense can win a football game.  Then again, it's gonna be hard to keep Peyton Manning down, no matter how good our defense is.  I'm not sure.  I'm waffling.

It's going to be a fun (long) two weeks before the game, and then the actual game will be super-fun.  Can't wait.

My Mac conversion is complete

I don't know if you live with someone who's a gadget nerd, and especially a Mac gadget nerd, but in case you don't, today is MacWorld.  If that doesn't mean anything to you, it's the one day of the year when MacPeople sit glued to their computers, hitting refresh on a webiste like Gizmodo or Engadget.  These MacPeople are awaiting news of the next big thing.  Rumors fly for MONTHS before MacWorld, about all the fantastic things Steve Jobs has up his sleeve.

Folks, I am officially a MacPerson.  I've spent the last half hour (started a little late, because I forgot about MacWorld until CNN reminded me.  I'm a BAD MacPerson.) glued to my work computer, hitting refresh over and over again while I marvelled at it all.  The rumors were pretty much right this year; the big announcement?  The iPhone.  I told S a while ago that there was no way I need a phone that did that much, but two minutes of reading Jobs's keynote, and I'm sold.  It looks awesomely wantable.  If it's half as cool as it seems, it'll be the coolest phone ever.

But don't take my word for it.  Go over to Engadget and just look at the thing.  It looks ridiculously desirable.  It looks like it will provoke hysteria.  Steve Jobs just said (and by just, I mean, just, as I am sort of live-blogging about the liveblogging of the keynote) that Apple/Cingular (the phone is exclusive to Cingular, which happens to be my provider...) are looking to grab 1% of the cell phone market with this thing, which amounts to 10 million iPhones.  By 2008.  I'm just ballparking it here, but I'm thinking that's a no-brainer.  If the first gen. comes out and isn't plagued with problems, and if it comes through on it's promise, I can tell you that at Christmas 2008, we'll all be asking for the 2nd gen. iPhone.

I mean, hell, I want one already.