Quodlibets

Even after all

Possibly the biggest gift that Sam has given me in the 5 years we've been together has been the music.  I feel comfortable saying we're both pretty omnivorous when it comes to music, although we prefer to listen to different genres of diverse music--I like Bollywood and some alt-country/country, for example, and he gets into jazz and classical far more than I do.  But that's made for some interesting music exchanges.  I tend to think that he's made far more of an impact on me than I have on him, but he's so bloody picky when it comes to music.  I tried to get him interested in the Kings of Leon ages ago, but he refused to see their genius.  Until this last album, which he listened to first and is in love with now.  I think it's possible that he thinks my music tastes are more....popular, mainstream, than his own, and he's very reluctant to admit that I might introduce him to some new awesome music.  I think it's this holdover from music-snob-land, otherwise known as working at a music store.  There's the subtle (or not-so-subtle, depending on your friends) competition to be the one to find the next great CD, the next great band, the new thing.  I'm almost positive Sam would deny it, but I think he gets this little thrill from giving me new music that I love.  And let's be clear, he really has.  I can name more than a few CDs he's given me in the past 5 years that have really opened up my musical world.  But this isn't about those CDs.  This list is about the 5 songs he's given me that have really wormed they're way into my life, in such a way that if I could only have one mix CD with me for the rest of my life, these songs would most likely be on it.

5 songs

1.  Teardrop -- Massive Attack.  I think about this song all the time.  I'm not kidding.  I really love it, and the first mix Sam ever made me, long before we started dating, had this song on it.  It's popped up on a few of my own mixes, and any time it comes on unbidden--in shuffle mode--I get a little thrill.  That it's the theme song for the TV show "House" doesn't really bother me, though it's a better song with lyrics than without.  And I'd be lying if I denied that the song was a major reason I started watching "House".  Whatever, the song is amazing, and sometimes I try to think what song I'd walk down the aisle to, if I ever walked down one, and this song is something I always consider.  It's pretty...angular, though, for a walking-down-the-aisle song.  I don't know.  But it's fair to say, anyway, that this song in my life is a direct result of Sam.

2. and 3.  There is a Light and Ask Me -- The Smiths.  I might've owned a Smiths CD before Sam.  I can't remember now when I bought the Smiths singles album.  But if I did have it before Sam, I never listened to it, ever.  Sam put these songs on mixes for me, and it's been all over since then.  When Pete Yorn played these songs at Schuba's, I nearly died from happiness, and pledged my eternal music loyalty to him.  And I'm a big Moz fan too, and Sam is the direct result of that.  I wouldn't say I'm a fanatic, about the Smiths or Moz, but I'll take these songs, yes please. 

4.  Hallelujah -- Jeff Buckley.  If this list was longer than 5 songs, I'd also put "Lover You Should Have Come Over" and "Last Goodbye" on it.  For the record, I think "Last Goodbye" was the first Buckley song he gave me, and I do love it, but Hallelujah is better.  I know it's a Cohen song, and I actually do love the Rufus Wainwright version too, but I think it's really otherwordly in Buckley's hands.  There is something about it that really hits home for me, especially at Christmas.  And it's a song that I've played on repeat, many times.  It makes me think.  Actually, these are the only three Jeff Buckley songs I like.  They're undoubtedly the best, right?

5.  Remember the Mountain Bed -- Billy Bragg and Wilco.  This song is so, so sweet.  Every time I hear it, I feel a flush of love for Sam, because he brought it to my attention, and he put it on so many mixes for me.  This is another song that I've consider for the wedding thing, because I like it so much.  And it's also the only Wilco song on my iPod.  And will probably always be.  I don't care for Wilco, and so liking this song, even a bigger surprise.  But really, a nice surprise.  Good song.

June! My favorite month!

5 Things I've learned in 5 years with Sam

1.  You're going to cross each other's invisible lines.  We all have these lines set up like booby traps around us, lines that no one else can see or feel.  It could be about how much emotional talking you can take, how much nagging you can take, how much joking, etc.  When you live with someone like this, it's inescapable that over time, you'll cross those lines.  Part of the working on the relationship thing is learning how to deal with it when you do cross them, and then learning, slowly, where those lines are set up, so you don't keep crossing them again and again.

2.  Passion doesn't exactly fade as companionship grows.  I always used to think that passion would pretty much fade away and companionship would move in.  Maybe it's a longer-term thing than 5 years, but right now, it's pretty pleasant.  We're definitely great friends and companions, but we're also still maintaining the passionate parts of the relationship.  It's changed, yeah.  I mean, we don't make out for four hours anymore, but that pretty much stopped within the first six months.  I don't know.  Maybe it's just that it's a little bit nicer than I thought it would be.

3.  You can change a man!  No, not really.  I just (and I've talked about this 5 million times, but it's REALLY important to me) mean that you can definitely broaden a person's horizons.  Sam never thought he'd like traveling overseas, and he loves it.  He probably never imagined himself eating Indian or Thai or Chinese food, and now he enjoys all of them enough to eat them regularly.  And I'm sure he never imagined himself wearing a polo shirt, but damn if he didn't wear one in SLC over the wedding weekend.  It took some cajoling, but it was the appropriate clothing, and he did it, for me.  He's never going to love doing it, but he'll put on things he'd never consider wearing, even 5 years ago.  I'm not asking him to wear a suit every day (or even every month), but it's nice that he doesn't bitch SO much about it now.  Just a little bit.

4.  It's really, really important for me to get 30 min of his time every day.  For us, that means laying on the couch together, watching movies or TV.  Or taking a walk in the summer.  Some days, it's more than 30 min.  But I really thrive and feel more secure in our relationship if we can steal a half hour, even on busy days, for just some us time.  Some days, of course, it's not going to happen.  But it works for us.  And if it seems like a lot, well, that's just me.  I guess I'm needy.  But I like to maintain a connection, and that's the only way I know how.

5.  Sam + Pearl Jam = inseparable.  It's never going to not be.  I better just get used to it, huh? 

10 things; 2 lists

5 Things I Like about Sam
1.  He's passionate about photography.
2.  He's the nicest person I know.
3.  He never gets mad at people, only inanimate objects (like the cheese that slides off of a piece of pizza).
4.  He's a very good hugger.
5.  He lets me drive everywhere, except that he's glad to drive rental cars in other cities when I don't want to drive.

5 Things I Don't Like about Sam
1.  It takes him forever and a day to make a decision.
2.  He can't multitask.
3.  He only gets mad at inanimate objects, never people, which can lead to things like computer banging and throwing.
4.  He doesn't like any of my music.
5.  He doesn't eat vegetables. 

He didn't eat. Anything.

5 Things Sam definitely didn't eat before me

1.  Asian food.  I mean, none.  No Thai, Chinese, Indian or Japanese.  Now though, he's tried all of them, and will even consent to eating Chinese food occasionally.  Once he ordered it in when I wasn't home, which was astonishing.  He actively enjoys Indian food now, and we go out for that once in a while.  He doesn't like Thai overly much, though I can persuade him to eat it about once every six months, and he flat-out doesn't eat Japanese, unless it's Yakitori, and even then, only very seldomly will he eat that.  It was such a treat to move to the city and realize that lots of Chinese restaurants do Japanese and vice-versa, because it means I can have my tempura and miso, and he can have sesame chicken. (Which is currently the only Chinese dish he eats.  But better just that than nothing.)

2.  Seared Tuna.  I like seared tuna a LOT.  We've been to a few restaurants that have it, and every time we eat it (which is admittedly very rarely) Sam seems to like it more and more.  I also made that seared tuna salsa thing for our dinner party, which he liked a lot.

3.  Fish Tacos.  Sam lived in the land of superb fish tacos for years and never ate one.  If I lived in fish taco land, you can bet I'd be eating them every week.  In fact, when we're next in CA, we'll probably just alternate Wahoo's with In N' Out.  Who needs real food when you've got fast food like that?  We also tried to cook fish tacos once, and although they didn't taste very much like real fish tacos, they tasted good, and Sam and I talk about cooking Halibut again.  We just haven't done it.

4.  Red wine sauce.  For steaks.  First of all, Sam very rarely ate steak before we started dating.  He might say he did, but I don't buy it.  He'd never had a really good filet mignon before, that's for damn sure.  Now, it's his old stand-by in expensive restaurants; he's probably eaten a filet at every type of upscale restaurant (Chinese, Italian, Mexican) in Chicago.  His favorite thing is a red wine reduction sauce, which is so odd, because he doesn't like red wine.  In fact, I would say he actively dislikes it.  It's very odd.  But you can almost guarantee that Sam will choose the steak with the red wine sauce on a menu, if it's there. 

5.  Veal.  Okay, he doesn't really eat veal now.  But I can guarantee he'd never eaten veal before he ordered it once at 302 West (sadly defunct now, though Niche aims to inherit its, well, niche).  Eating somewhere like 302 is always an adventure with someone like Sam, because he is so picky.  Usually, he'll order the one beef dish on the menu.  The time he ordered veal (osso buco, essentially), there was no beef on the menu.  We were with his parents, and there was a buffalo steak on the menu, and Sam just couldn't do it.  His dad did, however, and in retrospect, I bet Sam would have rather have had that (minus the "chili" underneath the buffalo [or was it bison?]).  But he soldiered through the veal, which he really didn't love, and he even tasted my veal every time I had it, in Italy.  I'm not sure he'd willingly order it again, not with beef on the menu, but it's a testament to how adventurous (for him!) he's become that he ordered it once.  In fact, it's a testament to how much he's opened up that he'll even go to a place like Niche, because he's taking a blind leap, essentially, every time we dine there.

Eating with Sam sometimes makes me want to scream (sometimes a girl just wants Greek food, yo), but he's literally come miles from where he used to be.  We're slowly finding a loose group of dishes that he can order when we go to any type of restaurant in the city, even if he does grumble about some of the types of food I make him eat.  If he hadn't gotten more adventurous, I don't know that we would have made it 5 years.  Really.

How Do I Love Thee?

Let me count the ways....

Sam and I (yes, Sam.  I'm sick of just typing S and I don't think either one of us is very anonymous on the web anymore) will be celebrating our fifth anniversary in less than a month, and I've been trying to think of something I can do for him, besides giving him a wad of cash that'll go towards his new computer.  This is the first time we've really done gifts; we've gone out for a couple special dinners, but most years our anniversary has just been noted and we've moved on.  (It doesn't help the anniversary that my birthday is a scant six days later, as it's kind of a one-two punch on the spending money.)  But I happen to think that five is a really special anniversary, and something that we should recognize and celebrate.  Me handing Sam cash?  Not very special and romantic.

So I decided that I'm really going to count the ways.  Sort of.  Every few days, or whenever I get the inspiration, I'm going to post a list of five things.  Not five things out of the same category, mind you, but a new list with five items every day.  Some are going to be really silly lists, and some will be kind of sappy and serious.  Some might be annotated, and some might just be lists.  It will totally depend on the the circumstances surrounding the moment I'm writing the post, and the character of the list. 

I love words.  And I can't think of a way to better express to him how much I love him than to throw around words on this blog.  It is, somehow, from the very depth of me that I'll be writing these words, no matter how frivolous they seem.  And he has become a part of the very depth of me, and he should know it.  This is my quirky way.

5 movies I've hated, while with him
1.  Mullholland Drive
2.  Gangs of New York
3.  Solaris
4.  Vanilla Sky
5.  Rocky I