Quodlibets: Boot Camp

One of the requirements of the Library and Information Science program at the University of Illinois is that you spend 10 days in Champaign in the middle of the summer, doing the first course in the program. Hundreds of pages of reading are assigned in the weeks before; god help you if you don't do them before the start of the program. These ten days, and I feel confident saying this, were among the worst in my life. I'm sure bad things will happen to me in the future, and bad times have happened in the past, but these ten days pushed me to a point that I almost didn't want to do the program at all. The library school denies that the purpose of the "boot camp" (as everyone calls it) is to weed out under-motivated students, but it is very hard to imagine that it's not.

The experience is intense, and it's not intense in a good way. You know what was intense in a good way? Orientation to the Rome program when I was a sophomore in college. I realize I'm talking about two different levels of academic work, and we didn't exactly have homework during that orientation in Assisi, but still. There's a way to get people ready for something, and there's a way not to, and I firmly believe that boot camp is the wrong way. For starters, it doesn't at ALL mimic the way classes actually are during the rest of the program. We do the majority of our work online, and then we have one (ONE!) day in Champaign to meet in person. If you're going to need more in person time to do basic orientation, I understand. So how about 3 or 4 days in Champaign, and a 3 week online class?

I think another problem for me is that I don't do my best work in a pressure cooker anymore. My best work is produced when I have time to go back and forth between other activities and work I have to get done. At boot camp, I literally did homework every night, all night, after dinner. (Before dinner, I was in lecture, discussion sections, group meetings, or at a meal. Those times that I wasn't doing one of those things, I was also doing homework.) I hardly had time to read for leisure, which is something I depend on to keep me going, though ALL things. I had a panic attack one night, because I just couldn't imagine completing the assignment before me in a satisfactory manner, and I knew I had to. Not only that, but I had to be working on it that very moment, and the panic attack was stopping me. I found more than one white hair in Champaign, and I don't think that's an accident. I enjoy doing academic work, but I didn't enjoy the Bataan Death March feel that boot camp produced inside me, with regards to getting the work done.

I also have a problem with the forced camaraderie the program was trying to foster between us. I'm not someone who becomes besties with anyone overnight, and I have a really hard time making friends. I know some people who made besties with other people during that ten days, and it's not as though I necessarily wanted to, but the pressure for us to form these kinds of relationships was certainly extant. I can't say that I felt left out, exactly, but I can say that I'm aware that this thing might have been easier if I could have formed some sort of connection with other people. It's just not that easy for me.

And then there's the dorms. The cheapest option is the dorms. It makes sense to stay in them, because you're given to believe everyone else is. But I wish to god I had not stayed in them. They 100% made my stay more stressful, because I was literally uncomfortable every minute I was in the room (and I was in the room A LOT, doing homework). The bed was miserable, the room smelled like moldy grandma, and the bathrooms were shared. And gross. Again I say that three or four days would have been much more bearable in this situation.

One last thing: I'm not saying this because I did badly in the class. Far from it, actually. I got an A. I'm saying this because those ten days really hurt me. And I don't think I'm the only one who suffered during them. I know some of the people in the program rolled with the punches just fine. Some people probably loved boot camp. But it genuinely sucked for me, and again, I simply can't imagine this is the best way to orientate people to the program. There has gotta be a better way.