In my quest to fill all my free time at work, I've begun doing crosswords. Sometimes as many as 7 or 8 in a day. I try to pace myself--only allowing one every hour and a half or so, otherwise I might do them straight through the day. But isn't that sad? I read a lot still, too, because the computer gaming has fallen off exponentially now that the big boss is in every single day. (Oh, sweet sabbatical, how I miss thee.) I keep trying to find things to do that have an air of legitimacy, but I'm not having much luck. I browse the internet maniacally; I've become a PerezHilton addict due to the unfortunate nothingness of my time. There's nothing like nothing to make you feel like a useless human being. I know I'm not one; let's be honest here: I'm doing tons of work, but I'm doing it very quickly and efficiently, leaving me with oodles of fillable time.
There's a part of me that would absolutely LOVE to bring my sewing in to work, because think how much I could get done! But sewing is clearly 100% unrelated to my job (oh, so is crosswords, but at least that has a slight word/book/brain thing going on), and even though it's 100% sure I wouldn't get fired (the boss doesn't believe in firing people), I can't bring myself to stray that far from my job. I totally bang on about this shit all the time, but you wouldn't believe how having nothing to do at your desk is a complete killer. Some days it's all I think about, staring straight ahead, looking at nothing. Some days I stare out the big dotted opaque glass window in front of me and try to watch the TV in the cafe, on mute, on CNN. Predictably, I don't get much out of it, as I'm barely able to read the big white headlines, and can't see the ticker at all. I live for phone calls and IM conversations. I try to blog every day at work, because it will generally kill 30 minutes or so. Sometimes more, sometimes less.
Twice or three times a week I walk over to the public and scout the new book shelves, but that's not happening right now because I've got such a glut of reading material stashed at my house. Also, forgot my library card again. Remember that post? Yesterday, in the grips of pre-lunch hunger pangs, I took a spin around the block, but that was incredibly boring and hot, and it's supposed to be even hotter today (the ladies from the back took their constitutional 40 min early today to beat the heat), and I'm wearing jeans. I didn't feel like shaving this morning.
I'm working a half day on Friday, which is the only reason I'm able to get through the other four days of this week. If I wasn't, I'd be miserable right now. It's the promise of sweet relief on Friday that's got me somewhat sane. And I know things will pick up a little bit more each week with the impending school year. There was about 3 hours of work yesterday for me, and by August 22, I may even be able to fill entire days. We'll see. Anyway, those full days will only last about a week before I'm caught up. Things'll be busier, for sure. Just not...full.
I wonder how long the fascination with crosswords will last.
Wow, you described my days at work almost exactly. Sometimes I close the door to my office and read a book, and I email incessantly. What's most frustrating, though, is that when i do have work to do, and I do it, it's not the least bit satisfying. I'm still completely bored out of my mind. It's disheartening, really.
Posted by: Mavis | July 31, 2007 at 03:31 PM