Yesterday was a terrible awful no-good kind of a day, but this morning I woke up laughing. I had a really hard time falling asleep last night, so hard that I shaved about 2 hours of sleep time off my normal 8, making me one tired puppy this morning, but I actually feel like I slept well, so that's okay. No, I woke up in a full-on bout of hysterical laughter. I woke Sam up too; I think he thought I was crying (that's what kind of day it was yesterday, people), but as soon as he grasped that I was laughing, he was uninterested and turned over and fell asleep. He still had a half hour to sleep, but I was getting up in three minutes anyway, so I lay awake and tried to remember what it was that made me laugh so damn hard, hard enough that in real life I was laughing as well. As far as I can remember, it involved my cousin Bee and my sister going down a really steep (almost slide-like, really) stairway that turned half-way down in the splits, and then at the turn, sliding under the bannister and landing (still in splits!) on the floor next to the staircase. I can't explain it, except that three people did this in my dream, and it was funny as hell. In fact, just thinking about in now is making me laugh, though I'm not sure if it's the image of those two doing that, or the memory of waking up laughing that's provoking the laugh now.
Either way, it always feels slightly charmed to wake up laughing, like your subconcious is telling you something about being so worried and serious that you can't get to sleep. You know, such as: don't do that, you bonehead, we can already tell you're going to be tired tomorrow and we don't like it one little bit. I am in a frightfully tired state of mind, moving about two seconds slower than the world, and it's all due to my inability to fall asleep. (And I have to admit, I suspect that the coffee I had yesterday, carefully ordered as decaf might not have been as decaf as I thought.) I'm trying to put off thinking hard about yesterday, besides the thinking I already did, because no decisions about anything have to be made anytime soon. Summer is a relaxed time around here, and I expect that the screws might not be really applied until the fall, at which point I can reassess, if I have to. That's the best I can do right now. Sigh. Easier said than done, I suppose. And dreading work? Not the best way to wake up every morning.
Now, laughing? I'll take it.
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