In the 9 month period leading to Sam's and my relationship, when we were sort of negotiating a friendship, I never pushed him, ever. I mean, I moved carefully around his comfort zones and made sure that I didn't step over any lines, or push him too far or hard. I don't have very many crazy comfort zones--maybe the worst one of mine is the whole non-touching thing, and he wasn't so touchy, as a friend--so it was fine. But it was definitely a concious decision on my part to not do anything to push, because he was a very, very shy and timid person back then, and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable around me, especially if I was trying to build a relationship. It was a smart move on my part, because what it ended up doing was allowing him to trust me and we built this friendship that turned into this nice relationship we've got going now.
Which is ironic, because all I do now is push push push. I've made it my habit to push and pull him out of his comfort zones over and over again. And I'll probably keep pushing him, because it's been really good for both of us. He never would have taken the initiative to move to the city, I don't think, without my desperate desire to. He's sort of charming, actually, in that he's almost always content wherever he is. Seriously. His mom told me that he was a late crawler, because she would sit him down and he was so happy wherever he was, that he never had the urge to crawl. That really hasn't changed. He's generally happy and content, and so it's my job to push--both of us.
I guess, in some ways, he got suckered into this relationship with this calm, laissez-faire person, and actually ended up with a problem girlfriend. Okay, that's not fair. He knew from the beginning that I was an assertive person, and it's not like I hid it. I just didn't push HIM. I pushed and pulled everyone else around me. So there's no way he didn't sort of know what was coming. And anyway, I only push when he really needs it. That's what I tell myself, anyway.
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