My Job

I've generally avoided talking about my job on this blog, because I don't think it's the best policy to do so.  I'm going to try to talk about it here, but obliquely, because I'm incredibly frustrated with the way things are right now. 

I miss retail.  I miss it every day, and I miss it in almost every way possible.  I miss the speed and the constant moving.  I miss feeling challenged, because I don't feel challenged here.  I miss interacting with people who wanted to know what I thought of CDs and books, who solicited my opinion specifically for advice on what to buy.  I miss recommending things.  Mostly, though, I miss working with people whose motto could be "All for One and One for All."  I miss being part of a team.

There's no such concept at my workplace.  People are very territorial.  What's my job is my job, and what's yours is yours.  I pretty much don't care who is doing what, as long as it is getting done CORRECTLY.  But I never speak up to correct co-workers here, because I'm afraid of them.  I'm afraid that they'll interpret my desire for things to get done right as some sort of encroachment, when all it is is a desire to avoid complications later.  And I know that my fear is borne out of reality, and that it actually is this way, because in the beginning, I did say something, but it's just bitten me in the ass far too many times to be worth it now.  I honestly cannot EVER remember feeling that way when I worked in a bookstore. 

And if I needed help with something, it didn't feel weird to ask someone for it, as it does here, and if I wasn't busy, it didn't feel weird to do someone else's work, if they had too much of it.  Those kinds of things NEVER happen here.  Every man for himself.  And it's little things, too.  If the doorbell rang at the bookstore, and you were the closest one to the door, you answered it.  Here, it's one person's job, and when I answered the loading dock buzzer this morning, my co-worker got huffy about it.  I mean, I was standing RIGHT NEXT TO IT.  It just seemed like the right thing to do.

Beyond that, though, I'm one of a few people in this building who has her hands in all the pies.  I do a little bit of everything, and it doesn't bother me to do so.  I like it.  I like knowing that in a pinch, I can cover either desk--reference or circulation--and that if I really had to, I could copy catalog.  I like knowing all the circ functions, and all the cataloguing ones.  I like having my hands dirty.  But NO other person in this building (save perhaps a couple of department heads) feels the same way.  Most people look at circ with disdain; one person even said proudly that she didn't know how to check out books, and she didn't want to know.  I mean, shit.  Really? 

It's such a bad attitude.  It completely negates the idea of team, and furthermore, makes it very hard to enjoy your co-workers at all.  Maybe I expect unrealistic things from this place, because I came from a place where everyone pretty much how to do nearly everything, with some small specialties here and there.  Most people could help out in a pinch.  I liked that.  I came to depend on it.  I came to depend on my co-workers, and I liked that they could depend on me. 

The thing is, it sucks when it's one-sided.  That's one of the biggest lessons I've learned in the 11 months I've been here.

Comments

[Rita]

I miss retail sometimes, too. Granted, I worked at Starbucks, not a bookstore, but it is a similar deal. However, I also remember how much it sucked when you work with people who don't care. At my first Starbucks, everyone was smart and not lazy. We worked together so that no one had to do too much. No one was making their career at Starbucks, but they still worked as if it mattered. Then I worked at a Starbucks with a bunch of priveleged high school kids who, though perfectly nice people, just didn't have the same effect. Who you work with is important, is all I'm saying. It sounds like you work with not great people AND are unchallenged, which is the worst possible combo. I hope it works out for the best.