This is why you like me!

Because one day I'm talking about serious issues, like government, and the next I'm talking about bathing suits.

Specifically, my search for a bathing suit.  Almost six (six--gasp!) years ago, I bought a bathing suit in Florida, on a visit to my parents' house down there.  It's literally the BEST BATHING SUIT EVER.  Strapless, muted colors, tasteful, fits well--the whole nine yards.  Clearly, I must love it, because I've been wearing it for six years.  As you can imagine, as it's been through the pitfalls of weight gain and loss, exposure to the elements and chlorine, sunscreen and soap, it's pretty f-ing beat up.  In fact, it's pretty disgusting.  Not something you'd want to wear in public anymore.

So, because we're going to Florida (my sis, Katyla and I), I thought it might be time to re-up and buy a new suit.  Preferably strapless, though that's where my criteria stopped.  I duly went to a mall with some big name department stores and at least one swim shop, and embarked on the futile journey of bathing suit shopping in IL.  My god!  The ugliness!  The lack of strapless suits!  The sheer overwhelming number of highly unflattering tankinis!  I tried on about 10 suits, maybe more.  I tried on tankinis, what few strapless numbers I could find, and plain tank suits.  I ended up, unhappily, with a plain blue tank suit that I hate.  I mean, really don't like.  Sam insists that I should keep it and wear it, because it looks good, but I'm unhappy with it.  I mean, yeah, I look fine in it.  But it has straps!  It's boring!

What the hell?  Is it too much to ask that they stock good suits here?  I'm hoping beyond hope that I can find a new suit in Florida this year, or else I'm screwed.  I'm going to end up wearing a six-year old ugliness for lack of something better.  Or keeping the ugly blue and yellow thingy I bought last week, and wearing that to public pool outings (of which, it must be said, there are very few).  Argh.  I hate shopping for bathing suits.  (And they're so expensive!  Who knew a little teensy bit of material and elastic and so on could cost so much.  My ugly suit was 88 dollars.  And I don't even like it!)

Furthermore, can I just say two more things about suit shopping?  Those damn "sanitary strips" in the crotchs of bathing suits are gross.  If I think about them too much, I start to feel sick to my stomach.  Like a sheet of plastic is sufficient to protect you from the disgustingness of women who don't know that you have to leave your underwear on to try on suits.  Which brings me to my second point, which is that NO ONE looks good with underwear under a bathing suit.  It's nearly impossible, if you wear any sort of underwear besides a silky thong, to figure out if you'll actually look good if you remove the bulky lines of cotton underwear from the equation.  I wish there was some other way, but it just doesn't seem to exist.

Bathing suit shopping: worse than bra shopping.

Comments

[frog]

You might try Marshall's or TJ Maxx. Last year around June, I picked up two EXCELLENT bikinis for a song when they went on clearance. I wasn't in the market for a one piece, so can't speak to that.