She's a diva, no doubt about it. Last night, the concert was supposed to start at 7:30. Madonna came on at 8:50. It was slightly ridiculous. Okay, it was very ridiculous. But I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the crowd mostly forgave her, because the show is that good. I'm not saying the music was that good, but just the sheer spectacle. Plus, in all honesty, it's pretty damn fun to watch Madonna cavort around stage in her little outfits and big dance boots. She's hot, okay? For a 47 year-old, she's got it. I mean, she is sexier than you think, and more gorgeous than you think. She was hard to look away from. I'm incredibly glad I went, simply so I can say that I saw her. Worth every penny (that my dad and his fiancee spent...thanks guys!).
The crowd was very interesting. Lots and lots of gay men (ooooodles of them; it made me want a gay boyfriend something fierce), and obviously, straight women. There were straight men at the show, but they were mostly attached at the hand to some Madonna-loving woman. I don't think that we saw any groups of straight men just hanging out together at the Madonna concert. I could be wrong, but I doubt it. And the age range! There were women who were probably in their teens and twenties when Madonna was big in the 80's dancing like mad when Madge did "Like a Virgin". The woman in front of us, wearing the ugliest printed capris I've ever seen before (green and purple? with big black abstract flowers? UGLY, lady.), was clearly of that ilk. She seemed to most come alive when Madonna did the old songs, and anyway, she couldn't dance. Or the woman in the row with us, who pushed her way out in the middle of the show, saying, "Sorry, sorry, my kids are on the phone." She was also drinking a lot, and later in the show said to me and Bee (my cousin), "If you guys want to move into our seats, we won't be crawling over you so much." Because her and her seatmate left to get beer so often, and Bee and I were on the end of the road. Like hell I'm giving up my seats so that you can drink more!
It actually was the strangest experience I've ever had a concert. Because of the crowd. I don't think I can adequately express how surreal it was, but I'll try. I think that the crowd was riled up because of the wait, and that led to lots of unhappy situations. Now, I also think that because of the long wait many of the people in the crowd didn't feel inclined to get up and dance. I sure didn't. Bee and I were at the end of the second row in section 202. That, for all those unfamiliar with the United Center, is the first balcony. In the section next to us, at the end of the first row closest to us, a group of four individuals were standing up. Because of the stage position, and the sight-lines, they effectively blocked a whole group of people (Bee and I marginally being part of that group) from seeing the show. This angered already angry people. The women behind Bee and I were older, and drunk off their asses. They smelled like a brewery when they walked in. They were also sort of rough-looking--when talking about them to Bee, I said that they were "broads". And no word could better describe them. Anyway, their drunkeness combined with the inconsiderate jerks in the first row created a volatile situation. They SCREAMED during EVERY single song for those people to "SIT THE FUCK DOWN, ASSHOLES." or "MOTHERFUCKERS, SIT DOWN." It was loud and unpleasant, and they were angry.
The couple behind the standers was also angry, and they approached the ushers, who TWICE approached the standers and asked them to sit. They did not. Then the male person in the couple SCREAMED at the standers (not sure what he was saying) because the female person in the couple left. Walked out in a huff. (She eventually came back.) THEN, and this is where it gets good, one of the old broads behind Bee and I threw an ENTIRE cup of beer at the back of the stander closest to us. I mean, LAUNCHED a beer right at him. Oh baby, was he soaked. And angry. Of course, now they seem to be standing just to make a point: "We bought these tickets and goddamnit we can stand if we want to." Plus, the one guy is wet all down his back with beer. Not pleasant to sit in beer pants.
Honestly, I'm not quite sure how the situation was diffused. Eventually, the standers sat and the broads behind us shut up. Though Bee said that once when she used the washroom, when she came back in, one of them was sleeping. Not surprising. The ladies did duck out before the end of the show, possibly because they were so drunk, but I'd not be surprised if it was more about avoiding security after the show. What a bunch of fucknuts, all of them.
And this was not even the only occurrence of said behavior. Down the row from us (closer to where M and her daughter JJ were sitting), one man was escorted out of the concert by security, never to return, presumably for the same sort of sitting person angst--he harassed a girl in the first row who insisted on standing, and threw something at her. This is according to M, because Bee and I barely registered that disturbance, so great was the one going on near us.
Part of the problem, of course, was that EVERYONE besides us was smashed. There was a long wait for the show, people were bored, and so they plunked down $7 a drink and got drunker than drunk. Like I said, I've never had such an experience at concert, and never want to repeat it. (Bee did have some beer dumped down her back by the drunk broad behind her. They were so repellent. At one point, one of them tapped me with her inexact, drunk hands and said, "I hope I didn't spill on you." and all I could think was, "I hope you're not driving home." But Bee said that she heard them say that they had driven in from Wisconsin to see the show. Which is scary. They were INSANELY past the point of being able to drive.)
Anyway, I never need to see Madonna again. I'm glad I went, and I'm glad it's over.
Ugh. I hate it when they make you wait like that. I love the hell out of Prince, but I was so annoyed the last time I went to a concert - it was supposed to start at 7:00, but he didn't come out until almost 9:00 (and there was no opening act).
Glad to hear you had fun though!
Posted by: comebacknikki | June 15, 2006 at 10:26 AM
Interestingly, none of the people right near JJ and I were visibly intoxicated. But we did see one other "you're standing in my way" fight between two grown women, which makes for three on our one little section. I think you're right that the long wait made people angry.
And I agree - she's INCREDIBLY fit and really gorgeous. Her singing noticably deteriorated over the course of the evening, but if I had been dancing like that I would have needed oxygen just to put together a sentence.
Posted by: M | June 15, 2006 at 11:04 AM