I feel like after June 21st, nothing will ever be the same. Starting that day, I'm maniacally busy right up through the move, after which nothing will really be the same. I'm keep telling myself that if I can just make it to July 12, everything will calm down and revert to normal, but the truth is, that's not true. Things aren't reverting to normal. What will follow July 12th is probably months of adjustment to a new type of living, as well as very shaky work circumstances for S. Things seem pretty fucked up right now, just because of how much is unsure. I mean, he might not have a job. That's pretty damn fucked up, with the expenses we'll have.
I'm trying to remain calm, because I know he's working his butt off trying to make sure he does have some sort of job, but it's still really hard to sit back and let it go. I want this move to work, for so many reasons, and if he can't find a job, this move won't work. We'll be stuck, screwed, in trouble--however you feel like phrasing it. So I'm passably calm right now, but no guarantees that I'll be okay on July 5th. And thereafter.
And things seem to be happening so quickly that I can't regain my feet after the ground shifts before it shifts again. I'm being melodramatic, but I feel like I'm going to be on my ass for a good long while. In fact, I feel so consumed with this stuff, all of it, that I can barely pay attention to national news and issues and politics and that pisses me off. Don't expect any sort of heavy blogging here for a little while, unless something miraculously good or bad happens. I might just whine and bitch and moan for two weeks, and wouldn't you be mad then? I'll be insufferable.
Or maybe I won't find much time to blog (as happened this weekend, when busyness just sorta took over), and you'll miss me so bad that when we finally do get our internets hooked up in the new apartment, you'll be dying to hear from me. But I highly doubt that, and anyway, I could always blog from work, as I am right at this moment. If I'm silent, it's more likely because I've just written out all the bitching and moaning I can stand, and I'll make the humane decision and spare you all the experience.
Keep your fingers crossed for S, though, will ya? We need him to have an income.
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