A while back, a friend and I had an argument about this. Her argument very much mirrors the argument being made in the linked-to blog post, while mine is slightly different.
I do believe that make-up, heels, and shaving (personal appearance as whole, as it were) are feminist issues. But it's more complicated than saying "These things are bad, and if we are good feminists, we will fight our urge to do/wear these things and feel guilty when we do break down and use/wear them." It is, I think, incredibly bad form to say "Do what you're comfortable doing even though what you're comfortable with is bad for feminism and isn't a choice, whatever you think." The author of the piece implies she's not perfect--she shaves, god forbid--but maintains a tone of "No judgment!" (Ever seen the ep. of SatC where Miranda decides to obtain an abortion? Then you'll get the "No judgment!" reference. If not, the gist of it is that Miranda's doctor tells her she doesn't do them, no judgment!, and Miranda finds that pretty annoying.) "Shaving isn't okay, but you can do it, no judgment!" Even though, it seems clear to me, there is judgment being passed.
Now, the author points out that it is ridiculous to demand conformity to a "feminist" code of no shaving, no bras, no heels, no make-up, etc, because it's only doing a 180 from forcing everyone to conform to a code of all shaving, heels, make-up in public, and bras all the time. She's right. But where does this leave us? Damned if we do, damned if we don't? Like I said in the above paragraph, I think the author is sending two messages: Choose what you want, but choose my way. We'll be suspect if we shave, we'll be suspect if we don't.
Look, I don't have an answer to the conundrum, I really don't. I do think that we're coerced (socially) more and less than we think, if that makes sense. I do believe that it's possible to choose NOT to wear make-up and not feel strange, going about in public. I never, ever wear make-up, and I never, ever get any shit or flak for it. Do I think society sends you the message to wear make-up? Sure. Do I think it's hard to resist that message? Nope. But I also think that it's possible to be aware of the message, ignore it, and wear make-up. I do believe it's possible to wear make-up and have it be a true choice. (This is only an example, and surely not the only one, but Goth make-up might be an example of the true choice--certainly it's not society's idea of beautiful, but there are plenty of girls and boys that CHOOSE to wear make-up thus.) I think the same thing is true of shaving, bras, high heels, short skirts, etc. I know that society makes it very hard to be a woman and go unshaven, and I shave. My legs. I only shave my armpits when the urge strikes; I've been known to go to the pool in a bathing suit (strapless, no less) with hairy pits. Never bothered me, though it bothered my sister. Yet, I always shave my legs. I just like it that way.
What does that mean? Have I only been coerced socially to shave my legs and missed the other message, the one about armpits? Or is it possible that I know the message, and simply like the feeling of smooth legs on cold sheets? To me, there is no better argument for true choice than a woman that shaves her legs but not her pits, or vice versa. Surely, if I was at all concerned about society I'd shave both.
I'm just saying that I don't think it's as dire as the author of the linked-to post makes it out to be. I think we should absolutely fight against patriarchal notions of what beauty is; but I also think that the fight is elsewhere, and in some ways, more importantly elsewhere. (And of course, prioritizing issues is a big bugbear in feminist circles because all things are equal. Too bad that's only theoretically true, and that concentrating on some issues has a bigger impact than concentrating on others. I'm a feminist that believes that we need to fight the big fights harder than we fight the small fights. I'll probably get a lot of shit for that position--who decides what the big fights are?--but nonetheless, it is the way I feel.) All I'm saying is that though shaving is an issue, weight might be a bigger one, as lack of or excess of can kill people.
(And just for the record, I do wear bras, because if I didn't I'd have a perma-backache, and I do wear heels, but not to be taller. I wear heels when I want, and flip-flops sans heel most of the time. My feet do like to be comfortable, but they also like to look good. I'll wear any shoe--flat, heel, whatever--if I like how it looks. Not that any of this matters to who I am as a feminist.)
I just wanted to state for the record that I don't think armpit hair is gross because women shouldn't have armpit hair. I think it's gross because all armpit hair is sweaty and full of little white ickyness...men and women alike. I think men should shave their armpits too. Just for your readers who may not have heard that idea from me before (since I'm sure you have).
Posted by: Katie | May 01, 2006 at 08:07 PM
Totally fair response. I don't really think anyone needs to choose "my" way so much as I wish there weren't too much pressure either way. I pretty much agree with your analysis.
And I don't really think it's a "dire" situation so much as it was what was seriously annoying me at the time, having read a discussion where one too many people kept insisting that makeup was an issue somehow outside of feminist critcism. ;) There are certainly much more important issues in the world, and they're usually what I focus on.
This is only an example, and surely not the only one, but Goth make-up might be an example of the true choice--certainly it's not society's idea of beautiful, but there are plenty of girls and boys that CHOOSE to wear make-up thus.
Good example, and agreed. I think a lot of subcultures do a good job of reclaiming and altering mainstream standards of beauty.
Posted by: Earlbecke | May 05, 2006 at 07:42 PM