Take this pink ribbon off my eyes

So...homosociality. I have to admit that I'm not formally educated in Women's Studies, besides one intro course in college.  (I'd take courses at the college I work at, except that they don't exist here.  No Women's Studies Dept.)  Anyway, the point is, I'd never heard the word before.  Of course, we've all experienced the effects of homosociality.  Men and women.  In fact, I think the only men I've met who don't play by homosociality's rules are gay men.  I've had a straight male best friend before, and he was theoretically all about treating me as an equal and so on.  Except that I never felt quite up to par as part of his boys club when he moved in with a few guys.  Unless I was willing to objectify women along with them.  At the time, I could have never given it a name, or even put a finger quite on what I was feeling.  But I felt less sometimes, like I wasn't right.

And frankly, I see homosociality at work in most of the men in my life.  Even my boyfriend, who is, quite honestly, providing me with more of an egalitarian relationship than my girlfriend ever did.  Honestly.  S and I are in the process of building a true partnership, one that doesn't have some bizarre power inequality based on something as arbitrary as money or gender.  That's what I'm aiming for, and he knows I'm aiming for that and I truly think he's working with me to create that.  But he works with a rabidly misogynistic supervisor who constantly and overtly makes very disagreeable statements about women, and do you think S ever says anything about it?  Better yet, have I ever expected him to say something about it?  No, and no. 

Isn't that heinous?  I'm uncomfortable with the idea of S listening to such talk, but I've always just thought that as long as S didn't feel that way, it was okay.  But it's not okay.  If S really believes that women are not second class citizens, he should tell his supervisor that the talk makes him uncomfortable.  And then his supervisor would make some comment about men being men and the peer pressure part of homosociality would kick in.  What then should S do?  I mean, the right answer is to not play along, and to say that it doesn't matter what his gender is--talk of the rabidly misogynistic sort makes him uncomfortable.  But is that the real-world answer?  Especially when your supervisor is involved.  I don't have the answer.

But it's an interesting question.  What should I expect of S regarding homosociality?

Comments

[TheGodfather]

"What should I expect of S regarding homosociality?"

To counter mischief.
The problem with his supervisor is a severe one. As long as nobody's hurt the question is if S can afford trouble at his work place.
I don't know if there are female coworkers of S. Sure, they would suffer from those misogynic remarks and in my opinion you could expect him to talk turkey.
But perhaps he needs the job so why endanger this source of money?
Does he think that his supervisor is a braggart only? This would tone down it a bit but he may consider his supervisor to display his misogyny in non-verbal ways also. Telling him that not all men agree with him on the matter of misogyny might be helpful then.
I don't know the answer, it's quite complicated. But an interesting topic!