Quodlibets

Happy (Bleh) New Year

Have I ever mentioned that I find New Year's Eve the lamest holiday ever?  The date is arbitrary, and I think the middle of winter is a strange time to start a new year.  I know I've expressed that sentiment before. 

But I also think that the associated pressure to have some sort of exciting, fun new year's eve is ridiculous.  What's more fun about this night, as opposed to every other night this year?  People just use this as an excuse to get stupid drunk and act like idiots (and man, why the fuck would you want to do that on TV?  I mean, that you want to do it at all is strange; but on TV?  Lame.), like Saint Patrick's Day and Halloween.  I'm not just saying that because I've always had bad nights; I've even had my share of drunken nights.  It's just that the night can never be as good as you want it to be, and why do you wanna start a new year hungover, anyway?

Regardless, S and I aren't really doing much.  We bought some donuts, because we like them.  I have a little bottle of champagne, if I feel so inclined.  (And orange juice, because mimosas are far better than ordinary champagne.)  We just finished a movie; it wasn't very good.  And now we're both plugged into our laptops.  I was kind of stressed about it earlier, feeling like the biggest loser in the world, but now I just don't care.  I don't like the general activities that take place on new year's eve, so why did I get so hung up?  I'm telling you, it's that damn NYE pressure.  I could do without it.

That said (and don't I sound like a crank!), I hope your NYE is everything YOU want it to be--quiet, party-filled, sleep-filled, whatever--and that the next year is what you want it to be.  I can't ask for anything better than that.

See you in 2006!

Here's a question:

Do you ever find yourself irrationally wanting to flip the bird at every car you pass with a "Bush/Cheney '04" bumper sticker?

Or is that just me?

Another meme

Via frog, who always has the best memes.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Put the contact right....there.

2. How much cash do you have on you?
$41

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?
rest

4. Favorite planet?
Earth.  It's the only one I'm familiar with.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell?
This is how often I get called: my cousin Sketch, from December 3rd.

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
My phone doesn't do fancy.  Oh yeah, I rock the Nokia tune.

7. What kind of shirt are you wearing?
A stained black basic T.

8. Do you "label" yourself?
As a feminist.  But otherwise, I try not to.

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
The feet I was born with.

10. Bright or dark room?
Medium?  It's not bright or dark.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Well, I enjoy her blog very much; I don't know her really, beyond through her blog.

13. what happened to number 12?
Look at the end of this meme.

14. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping.

15. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
"Yes"

16. Where is your nearest 7-11?
I don't know.  I do know there is a White Hen nearby.

17. What's a saying that you say a lot?
I'm just saying....

18.Who told you they loved you last?
S

19. Last furry thing you touched?
Errrrrrrr, maybe I shouldn't answer this.

20. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past three Days?
Advil.  Birth control.  A multi-vitamin or two.  Caffeine.  Does that count?

21. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
Ha!  Me, take pictures!  With super-photog S in the house?  Not on your life.  (Speaking of, you should see his new lens.  It's off the hook.)

22. Favorite age you have been so far?
I don't think I have a favorite age.  Nothing stands out.  I could arbitrarily pick an age, but....

23. Your worst enemy?
Stickers.  Don't ask.

24. What is your current desktop picture?
The green triptych of pictures that S took.  Though theoretically, he owes me a new desktop pic and a header for this blog.

25. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"There's nothing on."

26. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret?
Hello!  One million dollars could buy me a place in Italy.

27. Do you like or love somebody right now?
No.  Just kidding.  I love lots of people.

12. Is the practice of leaving questions out of memes stupid?
Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes.

End of the year meme

Via frog.

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
I'm not really sure.  I could say, 'went on rock and roller coaster', but that's sort of lame.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Well, I did a 25 in 2005 list, and I plan on revisting it on January 1st, as well as making a 26 in 2006 list.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Sort of.

5. What countries did you visit?
None.  Now imagine frown.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
A job.  And hip-hip-hooray, I do.

7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Let's see.  July 23-24-25 because of concerts, including the Great Lollapalooza Debacle of '05.  Nov. 2nd through the 6th was the family trip to Disney.  June 17th, my birthday and the day everyone else left for Hawaii.  October 25? (around there) for our awesome pumpkin carving party.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Finishing my LTA certificate.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not getting a job for six months.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not really, unless I imagined it, and then I suffered illness constantly.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Books, glorious books.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Uh.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Personally, not too many people, this year.  But you know, there's a whole long list of assholes in the wider world. 

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent and food.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Vacations.  Disney vacations.

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
Probably "Soul Meets Body"

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
happier by far
b) thinner or fatter?
thinner!
c) richer or poorer?
same

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Cooking.  And cleaning.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sitting.  And sitting.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it with my family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2005?
I've been in love, silly.

22. How many one-night stands?
Well, if I didn't say zero, wouldn't you be worried?

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Hmm.  There's a few.  The OC, for sure.  Also, Earl and Runway.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope.

25. What was the best book you read?
I can't, like, seriously can't, answer this.  Too many books are good.  I will say that one of my personal faves has been the Dark-Hunter series by Sherrilyn Kenyon.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Argh.  I have no idea.  I didn't discover very much, I just listened to new stuff by old favorites.

27. What did you want and get?
Purses.

28. What did you want and not get?
A trip to Italy (though hopefully I will get this next year)

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
I cannot remember what all I saw.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
S took me to dinner downtown, at a marvelous restaurant.  A whopping 26 years old.  Halfway through my twenties.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A bigger apartment.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Am I comfortable?  Is my purse pretty?  Ok.

33. What kept you sane?
I hate to say it, but WW and a really cool internship.  Oh, and definitely my RA class.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I go in waves.  I still do like Jason Lewis.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
What political issue doesn't stir me?

36. Who did you miss?
A bunch of friends from other times in my life.  I, most excellently, got to see one of those people yesterday.  It was fantastic.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Kelly, Sonia, Penny, and the rest of the RA gang. 

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:
Ha ha ha, don't try to cook rice on an electric stove.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"I have learned that even land-locked lovers yearn for the sea like navy men"
"War is over if you want it"
"Oh, and up we'll go in white light, I don't think so, but what do I know?  What do I know?  I know."

"....you think you're transcending feminism. But that's bullshit."

I know everyone was talking about Female Chauvinist Pigs months ago, but I'm reading it now, so bear with me.  I'm not reading it for it's scholarly value, because it's not very scholarly, I don't think.  It is, however, interesting.  I especially find the debate about pro-sex feminism vs. anti-porn feminism interesting, though I'm sure there are better treatments of it elsewhere. 

The point is, I've always considered myself a pro-sex feminist; I'm also mostly anti-porn.  I consider it the right of every woman to seek and find sexual gratification, but I also fear for a society in which women are encouraged to participate in the sexual objectification of themselves and other women.  Watching other women (conventionally attractive, Barbie-esque, no doubt) gyrate around a stage taking off various items of clothing to the point of nakedness is demeaning no matter who is watching.  Just because other women find it "cool" to watch doesn't make it less degrading to womanity as a whole.  In fact, somehow, it's worse, because it means that we're condoning these medieval sexual attitudes in men.  In fact, I don't think we can reclaim stripping.  I don't think we can somehow make stripping a feminist activity. 

Then again, I don't necessarily feel the same about porn.  Or clothing.  There is a fine line between porn that degrades women--porn of the "Bimbos 'R' Us variety--and porn that can actually be empowering for women.  I'm talking about women-made porn for women.  I think those sorts of porn movies exist, and I have no problem with them existing or with women taking pleasure in watching them.  But I find it hard to reconcile that sort of porn with the voyeuristic, un-diverse crap that mainstream porn is.  The porn industry, on the whole, isn't featuring naked women so that other naked women can watch and get off.  They're making movies and putting out magazines so asshole frat boys can wank off in their bathrooms or bedrooms.  Women who consume this sort of porn also scare me, because they're being spoon-fed ugly images of women and they're saying, "We like it!" 

I don't want my boyfriend to look at porn, because the porn that exists in the mainstream is disgusting.  Porn that features perfect women with fake breasts and shaved vaginas--that's not real and I don't want him to buy into an industry that promotes those ideals.  I'm not saying he's personally bought into them; he's with me, after all, and when we started dating, I hadn't shaved ANYTHING in months.   He never asked me to shave; in every sense, he was accepting and open.  But that doesn't matter, because I don't want him to be a consumer of anything that does ask women to be other than who they are.  It makes me uncomfortable to think that he's comfortable looking at women so obviously manipulated.  And it also makes me uncomfortable to think that other women are comfortable looking at other women so obviously manipulated.  And for what?  It sure as hell isn't for us, and I think it's silly to pretend we get some sort of sexual gratification from watching other women submit to some guy's idea of sexy.

Again, I've got nothing at all against sexual gratification.  I just think we're beginning to confuse gratification and objectification, and make them one and the same, and that's ridiculous.  There's nothing at all sexually gratifying about being treated as a sex object. 

I do want to say that I think we have to take all these issues separately.  Is wearing make-up and high heels automatically going to make you a sexual object?  I don't think so.  Is being in porn automatically making you into a sex object?  I would say, not if you're in the right productions.  Is being a stripper automatically sex object territory?  I think yes.  The point is, I don't think we can make a blanket statement about any of this.  As uncomfortable as that is, I do believe that situational decisions and considerations have to be made (as in, not all porn is bad porn).  So I'm not sure that I'm really, by definition, a pro-sex feminist.  But that's okay. 

Casserole mania, here I come

I've decided that going back to work (ah yes, I have a job) means that I need to somehow figure out some new meals for weeknights.  We baaaaarely eat at home these days, and we need to start, both to save money and to save calories and points.  And I have a really hard time getting S to eat anything, as you might know (if you read this blog a lot), because he refuses to allow vegetables near him.  And really, he's picky about everything.  I can BARELY get him to eat chicken and beef.  He seems to survive happily on a diet of pasta with butter and frozen pizza.  I can't eat that diet.  I get bored in....two days.

So I went on WW to try to find some recipes, and they all include things that S can't or won't eat; besides, they look horrifying.  So then I went to some recipe site, and looked up all kinds of weird casseroles.  I found a few, and now, starting tomorrow, I'm going to cook them.  (Although, if I'm honest, I'll admit that I'm going to make sloppy joes tomorrow.  We haven't had THEM in ages, and I love a good sloppy joe.)  S is leary of casseroles, as anyone who doesn't like anything would be, but I keep assuring him that it will be okay.  Even though I'm not sure.  What if the casseroles suck?  I guess he'll be running out to get fast food or we'll eat frozen pizza.

If you can suggest any low vegetable content (and by that I mean, does it have any vegetables in it?  It's bad; except for corn.  Corn might be okay) casseroles, I'd be grateful, though I'm not holding out much hope.  I personally don't know too many people who make casseroles.  And if they do, they have things like celery and green pepper in them.  Or mushroom, or spinach.  I think that sounds delightful, but S undoubtedly doesn't.

Post-Christmas Meme

I stole this meme from frog, because I like it.

1. What is the best gift you received this year? (Tangible gifts only, please!)
This is such a hard question to answer.  I absolutely adore the scarf/glove/hat set that my mom bought me, as well as the new flatware that I asked for (and received).  For sheer coolness, I have to say that the limited-edition print of Lennon's original lyrics for "Merry Xmas" wins.  And for sentimental reasons, S's gift for me (a ring, but not that kind) is nice, because it replaces one that no longer fits and that I loved.  He also matched it to my favorite necklace, which is so thoughtful I can't even express how pleased I was.

2. What is the best gift you gave this year?
Well, I think I won the ugly ornament exchange this year, with my butt-ugly contributions to my mom's and sister's collections.  (Respectively, a felt bird covered in pastel flowers and a computer wearing a wizard hat and the words, "Computer Wizard").  I think my mom really liked her salt and pepper grinder, and I think everyone liked the ornaments I gave this year.  From MOMA.  Oh, and my dad would have liked the outdoor thermometer we bought him, but alas, that's what the stolen object was.  He only has a picture to admire until it comes off backorder.

3. When did you do most of your shopping/creating?
I did all of my shopping between the day after Thanksgiving and December 16th.  I had some ideas, however, from earlier in the year and previous shopping excursions for other things.  I just never acted on them.

4. Did you go shopping the day after Thanksgiving (U.S.)? Hell no.  Online only.  After working in retail for so long, I have no desire to harass retail workers any more than they are harassed.  Day after Christmas?  No, for many of the same reasons.  But also because the crowds are hell, and anyway, I wanted to wait and buy books until today, since one of my favorite series added a new book today.  (That's awkward phrasing, isn't it?)

5. What stands out already about Christmas 2005?
It was really chaos-free.  It was even a little bit relaxing, which is rare.  I don't know about this question, because I don't think Christmas works like that.  Christmas seems to be the gift that keeps on giving, simply because I end up getting so many practical items that I use on a daily basis (the silverware, Kate Spade purse, the ring I will wear every day, the bedsheets, the shredder [yes, I got a deeply unromantic but fun shredder], etc.).  I can never single out one thing I like most about Christmas.  Although, now, as I'm typing that, I have to say that it was pretty interesting to have a baby around for the first time in years and years.  Watching baby Jude interact with people and things was pretty neat.

******

Anyway, my xmas was wonderful.  And I don't know that I have much to say beyond that.

Broken

S and I went to see Brokeback Mountain today, because I insisted, and he isn't averse to seeing "hot girl boobs".  Sad but true. 

You know, a few weeks ago, I read the story, and loved it, and I wrote about the need for us to frame the debate about sexuality in terms of love, but my sincere belief that it will never happen.  I still think that; I think as a culture we're waaaaay too obsessed about sex to change the way we look at this issue from sex to love. 

But, this movie just brings home how fucking sad it is that we can't.  I can't fucking say enough how much this movie speaks to the destruction that permeates lives when love isn't allowed to just be.  I simply don't understand how any human being can look at any love, any kind of love between two human beings (of consensual age blah blah blah; I'm not talking about anything sinister here) and pronounce it perverted and wrong.  These men did hurt people besides themselves, but they did it because they couldn't live their lives loving each other.  If no societal taboo had existed in the first place, neither one would have married a woman and hurt her so damn much. 

The torture that these men felt because of their feelings for one another--and I think it's important for me to say that I really did get the sense that their love was based on more than sex--is simply inhuman.  It's inhuman that we allow other humans to feel that way because we think men having sex with other men is "icky".  (For the record, I don't.  I find the image of two hot men kissing and more very, very erotic.  Also for the record, it's not as if this was some cheap porno sex.  It felt more to me.)  It's hard for me to accept that we could condemn anyone to a life that broken.  It's a severely dysfunctional attitude, I think. 

It's also very, very condescending.  In some ways, we're (as a culture, not as individuals) looking down our noses and telling people that our love is in some way better, or more pure than theirs.  And it makes me sick.  Then again, so many times, I think it's got nothing to do with love, because half the people who attack homosexuals can't get past the idea of two boys going at it.  It all comes back to reframing the debate, and making it about love. 

Anyway, I did like the movie.  It was very good, and very sad.  And I sat in the movie theater thinking, what kind of society let's humans live like this?  Who are we that we frown so heavily on such a wonderful thing as love?  We're missing the point.  That's all I could think.

Merry Chrismahanukwanzakahli

As in Christmas-Hanukkah-Kwanzaa-Diwali.  I hope it's blessed with family, friends, and lots of love.  Eat good food, drink good drink and stand in the kitchen and laugh.  That's what we do, anyway.  Doesn't get better.

See you on the other side of xmas!

Friday Random Ten--Xmas Is Coming Edition

1. Rock This Bitch (Live) -- Ben Folds
2. Mystery -- Indigo Girls
3. Shine On You Crazy Diamond -- Pink Floyd
4. Destiny -- Zero 7
5. Moondance -- Van Morrison
6. The Rover -- Led Zeppelin
7. Mona Lisa -- Guster
8. California -- Rufus Wainwright
9. Dancing Nancies (Live at Red Rocks) -- Dave Matthews Band
10. Philosophy (Inc. Misirlou--Live) -- Ben Folds

Oh sweet holiday miracle!  The ManoPod made a good mix!