I am such a fucking stressball, and for what? I mean, I'm having headaches all the time (as well as myriad other aches that I chalk up to stress but are probably psychosomatic; I have one twinge of pain, and I think I'm dying. The stress of thinking that I'm dying, constantly, is probably making the pain thing worse.) that don't seem to go away. During my work stress, I was having shortness of breath, like a panic attack was coming on.
I need to de-stress, and I'm not quite sure how. I read a lot, sew constantly (or as near-constantly as I can stand) and don't have a job. (Okay, the not having a job thing might be stressing me out some.) I feel very good about S and I, so it isn't relationship stress. I think it's dying/planning/busy stress. (This next two weeks seems like it might be some of the busiest two of the year, what with parties and parents and concerts, oh my!) You know what else? I have to read a Western. To some of you, that might seem like a negligible problem, and you're right. It is. But I still have to do it.
Oh, who am I kidding? I don't care about reading the western, because I don't mind westerns (in the McMurtry/McCarthy school) and frankly, I'd rather read than do just about anything else. I was just on a roll, with the bitching, and I saw the book. Maybe I'll drink some wine, because that seems to calm me down really, really well. On the other hand, I'm supposed to be sparing with the red wine consumption, due to the migraines. Can't win, can't win. Stress causes migraines, wine causes migraines. So if I make the stress go away with the wine, I'm still having the migraine.
Lately, and this is crazy, I've felt like vacuuming a lot (S and I have a new vacuum), so maybe fulfilling that would make me less stressy. Oh, what the fuck do I know? In fact, this entry is just so pointless I'm having a mental battle about whether or not to post it.
Wine. I've decided on wine.
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