Did you all see the comment some guy (too chickenshit [sorry, dude, but true] to leave his name or email address) left on my post about my Cosmo annoyance? If not, please go read it. And then you can move on to this, my response to this guy.
Dear Anon Male Commenter,
First of all, I think you should go read my sister's blog so that I don't have to smack you down on the issue of appearance and self-esteem/confidence. I'm here to tell you that she's 100% right, and that appearance has fuck all to do with how much of either of those things a woman has. If a "lady" looks like "crap", you can't assume anything about her, right? Because according to you, "we all know what happens when one asumes [sic] something." And I think you're assuming just as much as me. It makes me sad that you're calling me out on something that you're doing.
Speaking of men, do you really think that I can't have "true insite [sic]" into men's minds? Because you seem to think you have insight into women's minds--we have low self-esteem when we look like crap, remember--even though you're definitely not a woman. I'm not saying that I could ever think like a man, but I think these stupid gender boundaries between minds is fucked up. I know my boyfriend's mind far more than my mother's, and I'd bet you know your wife's mind better than some men. It's all about how well you know someone, not what gender you are.
And if I was a man, I think I'd be insulted by your talk of "types". Do you really think that men are just looking for a type? That's pretty damn incriminating. In fact, in your first line, you say that it's silly to assume that men look at appearance first, but then you turn around and say that, yes, men do look at appearance first. And looking at types only? It says that men are nothing more than the robots you seem to think I think men are. And believe you me, I don't think that men are robots. I don't think men have types at all; that's not at all what I was saying. I was saying that men don't look for confidence first, because they can't. I think that men look at eyes, boobs, smile, what have you. And I'm not saying women are different, either.
In fact, all I was really saying was that I find it annoying when men say in magazines that one of the things that first draws them to women is confidence. You just took it way too far; and you're unable to express your ideas civilly. A few people told me that I should delete your comment, because it was so angry, but I think it'll stay, at least for now. I know you think that you were schooling me on how civilized men actually are, but you're hurting your team with your argument, if you're arguing that you have to have a type in place before you can look at the interests of the girl.
And with your slightly demeaning tone (calling women "ladies" and "bigger ladies" or your girlfriend/wife "your lady", talking down to me like I'm a little girl who can't possibly understand big, strong men), you come off as a condescending know-it-all. How can you be so condescending to someone you don't know; how can you take something meant so lightly so heavily? And I bristle at the suggestion that my opinion isn't informed. It's entirely possible for a woman to have informed opinions on what men think. How do we know your opinion is better informed? Because you're a man? I don't buy that, I just don't.
Manogirl
PS--If men really valued intelligence and confidence, then women wouldn't have been playing dumb for centuries. And please don't tell me that women don't have to play dumb; I know they don't, but lots of them sure think they do to "get" men. I wonder why they think that?
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