Please don't tell me I look good

So I've been meaning to write about this for a while, and yesterday's post really ties into this. 

Please don't tell me that I look good when I'm wearing sloppy clothes.  You didn't five months ago, and I don't want to know that you're happy that I lost weight.  Or that you think I look good because I've lost weight.  In fact, from now on, unless you're explicitly complimenting a portion of my outfit (that necklace is lovely, or I love your pants) or my hair, don't compliment me.   Frankly, I somehow find it offensive and intrusive.  I can't explain it, but the more weight I lose, the more I hate the compliments and such.  It's an implication that I didn't look so good before, and I hate it.  I don't want to feel that my worth (as an attractive human being) is measured (by you) by how much weight I've lost.  I've been battling those feelings my entire life, and I've hurt for it. 

I don't know what else to say about it, except that if you compliment me, I'll feel uncomfortable, and by extension, way worse than I did before you complimented me.  It's going to take me some time to get comfortable with compliments.  That's just the way it is.  And don't think that I'm embarrassed because I feel good--which I could understand--because I'm telling you that it doesn't make me feel good.  It makes me feel bad.  So basically, compliment at your own risk.  It could lead to tears on a really bad day.

Comments

[Pooj]

I know I told you that you looked good after we ate at DOC but I wasn't saying you look good because you lost weight. I thought you looked good because there was a healthy glow to your face and overall being. So I retract my incomplete compliment and ask that you replace it with "Hey Ang that healthy glow on your face and overall being looks good." I will be more clear in the future so that you can enjoy a compliment when it is intended to be a compliment rather than a comparitive statement as to how you may have looked at one time or another.

I can't tell you the number of times that people tell me, after they haven't seen me in a while..."hey you've lost some weight" Well, I haven't gained or lost any significant weight since 1978. I came to realize that everyone that said this had a mistaken mental image of Jim the human bowling ball and that I did look good compared to their mental picture. At least they were surprised that I looked thinner than they thought which may have distracted them enough to not utter "Geez, didn't you used to have hair?"