I think this is possibly the first time I'm posting from somewhere other than the miniscule apartment that S and I call home. Tonight, I'm at my mom's house for a girl's night sleepover, that was a gift to her from Kate and I for Mother's Day. Obviously, as you can see from the time, the sleepover petered out pretty early (my sister, god love 'er, goes to bed really early) and now I'm left with an hour or so 'til sleep. My mom stays awake until my brother's curfew (at midnight) to make sure he gets in on time, but she wants to read, and my old bedroom isn't equipped with a lamp. Okay, we did move a lamp in from her bedroom, but still, it doesn't feel like my bed, and to be quite honest, (and sickeningly sappy, I'm sure) I'm not used to sleeping alone.
I've done it, of course, the few times S or I have been away on vacations away from each other, and the few times S had to work overnights at the store, but it's not normal anymore. And my old room is just not home anymore. It's totally rearranged, and my stuff (besides a few hundred books) is all gone. I hate the idea of going up there and laying down for an hour--even if I will be reading. It just doesn't feel like a place I want to sleep anymore. To think that I missed that room so much during the first couple of months at the apartment.
Sadly, I even had to bring earplugs, even though I know this house is as quiet as a tomb at night. I just don't know if I can sleep without earplugs anymore. I started using earplugs about a week after we moved in together, and now, even if S isn't in bed, snoring, the little noises in the apartment drive me crazy. And sometimes, I feel that putting in earplugs helps drown out the sound of all my thoughts--there are nights when I just can't fall asleep but for the earplugs, no matter how quiet S is. Also, I feel compelled to wear PJs, which sucks when you're not used to them. But I frequently get up in the night due to how much liquid I consume during the day, and yes, I shocked the hell out of my brother once a long time ago and really can't stand the thought of doing that tonight.
So yes, I'm procrastinating sleep. Once a procrastinator, always one, I guess.
*****Update: Worst. Sleep. Ever. Must take nap.
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