A State of the (Weight) Union

If you're not interested in reading about my weight loss progress, then don't read this.  I'll get back to my normal self tomorrow morning with a snarky post.  So at least you have that to look forward to.  (And can I just say how sweet the sound of Ben Folds new album is to me?  I don't know if I love it yet, but I do love that S snagged a promo copy for us.  I'll still buy it because, duh.  I love BF.)

So, as of today, I weigh what I did pre-S.  Post college, I weighed a lot.  That freshman fifteen really stretched into a lot of weight over four years.  So anyway, when I came home from college, I decided to give vegetarianism a try (moral and health reasons).  It worked; I lost almost 20 pounds in about five months.  Not a ton of weight, but I was feeling better about myself.  But see, then I fell in love, and when you fall in love, you go on dates and go eat dinner out a lot.  And man, I'd snagged him.  I may as well eat that whole damn burger if I wanted it.  What did he care?  He was getting some.  And it's not like my weight gain was striking; it happened gradually, over 2 and half years of dating.  I gained back the almost 20 I lost and maybe a couple of extra, bonus pounds.  Supposedly, that happens when you're happy, and oh yeah, when you start eating meat again. 

But now I've shed all those happiness pounds, oddly enough, making me a happier person.  Some days I hate the diet, and I want to eat a big breakfast, fast food for lunch, and a big Mexican meal for dinner.  But I don't.  Almost never.  And for the past few weeks, I've been controlling what I eat very well, and it's been showing in my weight loss.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I still regret and resent the diet every day.  It doesn't make me happy watching S eat food I can only drool over.  But the result does make me happy, and right now, I'm trying to balance that with my unhappiness.  I'm putting on clothes and feeling good again, and that alone is worth it.  I just feel better, and I try to remember that every time I watch S stuffing his face with chips and salsa (that's been my main craving recently--terribly bad for you but oh so delicious Mexican food).  Does it always work?  No.  But that's okay with me.  I don't beat myself up about it so much anymore, and that's good too. 

The State of the (Weight) Union:  Skinnier, definitely.  Pants falling down all the time.  But still a long road ahead.  Happier, for sure.  (And that goes for both of us.  Except for the pants thing.  S's pants don't fall down.  And wait, he doesn't have a long road anywhere ahead of him.  But he's happier!  Because I am.  I'm lucky; how could I be more loved?)

Comments

[KtLa]

I just want to say GOOD FOR YOU! I continue to start and stop my diet, which I know has absolutely no benefits. I had lost almost 10 pounds in the fall which is big and then gained it all back. I keep telling myself that next week I will start it and I don't. But I did currently hang a dress up in my closet in plain view that I bought while in Spain that I would LOVE to fit into again, hopefully it will motivate me sometime. But good for you for not jumping into temptation, me, I have no will power!