I'd really like to have

I'd really like to have something interesting to say, but I don't. I could have written a blog entry about all the homework I've been doing, but that would be boring. I could talk about how I've figured out how to put a picture on my sidebar, but that again would be a fairly boring conversation. I could tell you about our messy house, or about the project that's due tomorrow that I thought was due next Monday, but that's not exactly exciting. I could talk about all the new low fat/reduced fat stuff I bought, but come on, no one wants to hear about semi-good-tasting food when there is actual good tasting food in the world. I could talk about our sudden lag in the category of movie watching, which can be directly attributed to how damn busy we've been this last week.
And how damn busy we're going to be this coming week. And month. March feels like a whirlwind punctuated by a week in Florida. I'm trying really hard to gear up for 14 days of intense project working, but I'm having a helluva time. I just don't care about these classes anymore, and I can't for the life of me fool myself into believing that I do care. I think I'm doing a passable job of faking it for everyone else, but as for myself, well, I can't lie to myself. I'm only sort of excited about next quarter, and that's because I get to take a class in which the assignment is to read! If I wasn't taking that class, next quarter, I don't know if I'd make it through.
It's not that I don't like library work; I don't like these specific classes. The work is just not at my level. That sounds really stuck-up, and maybe it is, but it's the truth. I'm floating through these courses bored out of my mind. Usually, when kids are bored in class, they underperform. Because it feels excruciating to sit in class day in and day out and not feel intellectually stimulated. I was more stimulated on any given day at Borders. I think that the actual intellectual stimulation will happen on the job. At least I hope so. I'm sort of leaning again towards the Masters degree, just so that I can take my rightful, problem-solving space behind the Reference desk. I picture it a lot like Borders--many really simple questions and answers punctuated by fun, hard questions, asked by really nice, intelligent people. I'm cannot wait. I hope that at some point, that's in my future. It's what I want. Not this crap I'm doing now, this isn't what I wanted.
In retrospect, it might have been better to wait the year out, and tried grad school again. I don't know. Do I regret this decision? Possibly, but now that I've started, I can't quit. I have to finish this, for me, for S and for any hope of moving forward in the library world.
Waiting with bated breath for the beginning of August.