I'd really really like to

I'd really really like to be on "What Not to Wear".

And running a close second, I'd really really like to be friends with Clinton. But not Stacy.

And third, I'd really really like S to go on "What Not to Wear", but if I nominated him, he'd kill me. And I know this because he's said so, and also because I have a hunch the whole lot of his concert t-shirts would be thrown away. And then, truly, I'd be in so much trouble.

And fourth, I'd totally love it if my mom went on "What Not to Wear". Not that my mom is a bad dresser (her dress for my cousin's wedding was awesome) but simply put, she looks like a golfer 90% percent of the time. That's okay, but she just needs to be a teensy bit snappier in her dress.

Fifth, if I had to go on one "What Not to Wear" episode, wouldn't it be great if it was the 50,000 dollar episode? I think so.

Sixth, don't you secretly think that most people could use "What Not to Wear"? Even celebrities? I do, and I'll happily admit that I'm no exception. I'm not stylish, I'm just clothed.

Seventh, wouldn't you secretly rejoice at the chance to go on "What Not to Wear"? Even if it's only because you get to buy $5000 dollars worth of clothing. And frankly, why would you be insulted? You've got to be pretty high on yourself to think that your wardrobe is perfect. Because $5000 worth of clothing can pretty much improve any wardrobe.

Eighth, and that is the weirdest word ever, by the way, sometimes I disagree with Clinton's clothing choices. Yet I rarely, if ever, disagree with what he dresses others in. Does Clinton secretly need to be on "What Not to Wear"? I don't know, but I think Nick Arrojo could use the help.

Ninth, what kind of name is Carmondy? It's not, okay?

Tenth, are you sick of "Trading Spaces" yet? I am. The honeymoon is over. But, you gotta admire the people on the show; they just keep going and going. And I'm never going to be done with Vern. Love Vern. Want Vern to come to my house.