I did a mean thing yesterday. It wasn't premeditated in the sense that I didn't know the meanness would be yesterday, but it was premeditated that I had considered the possibility of having to do this thing before yesterday. I feel some traces of guilt, though I'm not sure why, since I don't regret doing what I did, and I know that what I did was a form of self-preservation.
There is a woman in my LTA 101 class who is, and I am not exaggerating, the stupidest woman I have ever met. At least with most people, if there isn't an intellectual intelligence, there is some other form of intelligence to take its place. But I honestly think this woman is stupid. And I don't think there is anything redeeming about her. For example, let's say your class takes a field trip to the Anytown, USA Public Library. And let's say that the head of Adult Services, John Doe, is talking about library funding, and how lucky his library is, because an elderly patron willed a large amount of money to the library, under the provision that the money is only to be used for staff development. John Doe says, for instance, that Susie in circulation, who is not an MLS, but an LTA, wants to go the annual conference of LTA professionals, which happens to be called, this year, "Beyond all Expectations". Because of the special source of funding, Susie can now go. Then, because there are other funding sources, John Doe moves on, talking briefly about the federal grants his library has gotten. In between the second and third grant (at Anytown Public Library, the librarians are apparently very good at writing grants), said Stupid Woman raises her hand, and asks "What did you mean when you said "Beyond all Expectations? What does that mean?" And she sounds like a drunk, who smokes two packs a day. This is how she always sounds. Okay, if you're a normal person, at this point, you're thinking, "What the fuck?" Stupid Woman has clearly missed the point. In fact, John Doe is probably thinking what you're thinking, because he just stares at her, dumbfounded.
And this is Stupid Woman's hallmark. She consistently asks questions that honestly have no place in any discussion. I could give you four million examples. All of her questions are usually glaringly non sequitor. GLARINGLY off topic. Always. Suffice it to say, she's not easy to deal with. She, during group work, is utterly useless. By the time the rest of the group is wrapping up point number one, she's asking utterly unrelated questions. Such as, what books I like, or if I've read a certain book. Only, she asked the same question of me twice during one class, five minutes apart. And it was a stupid question. So I avoid her.
Well, yesterday, after class, I left right away, like I always do, and apparently Stupid Woman was behind me, though I was unaware. She started talking to me, first asking, "When did you get your nose pierced?" I admit, my tone of voice wasn't the greatest, but I answered "A long time ago...." and I was thinking about when and she said, "In high school?" And I admit, I was a tad miffed, but I said, "No, in college." And this is when I tried to walk faster. But fuck it all, I'm so damn short. So I couldn't pull away. This is when she asked, "And how are you coming on your research project?"
ARGH. First of all, it's a stupid research project. Second of all, I was trying to calculate in my head the answer that would give her the least room to ask something of me. So I said that I was pretty much done with it, which I totally am, in my head. At which point, she said, "Hey, let's exchange phone numbers because then I can call you with questions." Warning bells should be going off right now, in your head, because they were in mine. Only mine sounded like shrieking, clanging bells and whistles. This couldn't happen. I cannot, and will not deal with this woman calling me whenever she feels like it. I can't deal with her at all. Ever.
So I said, and I quote, "Well, all our projects are so different I don't think there's really anything I could help you with. It'd probably be better for you to call Linda." This is a lie. I probably could help her. But I won't fucking hold her hand through the entire paper. No way. Anyway, she started to say something, but since I didn't look her in the eye at all, and was actively trying to get away from her, I think she knew what I was saying, really. And then I walked away from her.
Regrets? No way. I cannot deal with her, and I know it. I can patiently help people, as I have done, and probably will be required to do* later on. But not this. And if she asks me in class, I'll answer a question. But giving out my phone number. Over my dead body. And it's really mean, because she needs the help. And I think my guilt is partly motivated by the fact that I am so much more intelligent than her, and I feel bad for her. Because everyone (and I mean everyone) in the class is running circles around her. Guilty, yes. Regretful, no. I guess you do what you have to do. If it clarifies the situation any, I know the professor of the class is simply frustrated beyond belief with Stupid Woman, because she requires HOURS of personal tutoring every week. And it's my belief that no one in the class even comes close to that.
*For instance, when I finished my internet exercise early yesterday, I was forced to do research for someone else in the class. That's right, I found information (articles from journals, mainly) for another class member who is too dense to do so. So not only have I done my own research, but now I've done someone else's. Look, I know that I'm fast, and I'm exceptionally smart. And I would have had no problem showing someone how to find something. But the fact that I was made to actually do the research, how does that help her learn anything? And for the record, it was not Stupid Woman that I was helping. After I found four articles for the woman, I stopped, gave them to her, and returned to my seat. At which time, the woman sitting next to me said, "So do you get credit for her research too?" She was basically saying that she thought it was crap that I had to do that. And she was totally right. I just DID that woman's assignment for her. It calls for FOUR sources. Guess what I found? Four sources. And you can say, oh, but she has to write the paper, but oh no no, she does not, because it's not a paper. It's a summary. And then four little pieces about the individual sources. Apparently we're too dumb to write papers. I feel like it's kind of exploiting my talents, to make me do research for other people. Am I wrong?
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