Yesterday, in the same conversation

Yesterday, in the same conversation mentioned in the last post, my friend and I also talked about homophobia. My friend has a job that brings her into contact with people all over the country, and consequently, she has a lot of experience dealing with things like homophobia and racism. She was simply talking about her ideas on how to combat that sort of narrow-mindedness, through careful conversation, etc...
I said that I thought one of the best ways was to ask the person to apply the situation to their own life. So, for instance, if their brother/uncle/cousin was gay, would they still want to deny gay people basic rights? My friend agreed that this could, indeed, be a very useful strategy. But I think a lot of people that it's cheating somehow. And I'm not really sure why, but I worked with a very conservative fellow once, and he was very angry when I asked him how he would feel if his father came out of the closet. He wasn't angry that I was suggesting his father could be gay, he was angry because I consider situational ethics a fair way to make judgements. Frankly, I think situational ethics work on the same principle as the "golden rule".
I think people who come out against things like gay people, stem-cell research and sometimes even abortion (though certainly less so with abortion) hate situational ethics because it forces them to think about these abhorrent things being a part of their own life. No one likes to think that their parents are going to get Alzheimer's, but it is a part of life, and I think you need to consider how it would affect you, and how stem-cell research might someday help them. It's not okay to espouse some moral position and then point out that there are exceptions. I don't really think so. "Gay people are bad, but if my brother was gay, well, he'd be okay." Listen, everyone is someone's brother.
I really think it is helpful to think in this way. I think it has a way of clarifying issues that are really hard to wrap your mind around. I'm interested to know what people think about this, because I sincerely don't understand how you can oppose bringing issues down to a personal level.